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Film Review: After Earth (2013) by Captain Pigheart

19 Jun

I’ve reblogged this from Captain Pigheart because not only is it absolutely hysterical, it is also far better than I could have done, especially when you consider that I have not seen the film. I urge you to click the link and follow Captain Pigheart for great movie reviews, fiction, pirate tales, and much more Lego than you’d expect from a man who has achieved the rank of Captain. Before I turn you over to the Captain, I urge you to A- follow his blog and B- think twice before you see any film with Jaden Smith. Ask yourself this- do YOU want to be responsible for making him a movie star? I think not.

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Another Example of Do-Nothing Government

23 May

May 23, 2013

What am I paying taxes for if not to get my local streets fixed and properly repaired? If I lived in England I would be very upset.

vor1

This is an egregious breach of the public trust. This could be bad- very bad. ANYTHING could come through that portal- Roman Centurions, anal-probing aliens from Betelgeuse, even an other-dimensional Kanye West where he is pregnant with Kim Kardashian’s baby. Frankly, I can’t have that.

And the snake? Is no one else concerned that it could be Jörmungandr, the Midgard Serpent of Norse mythology whose final battle with Thor will be fought at Ragnarök? This could be the end, ladies and gentlemen. You may be reading the last installment of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride and, indeed, everything else as well.

So I say goodbye, internet public. Goodbye world. So long to all that I have known. This vortex is going to be the end of us all.

And the local Brighton officials will have no one else to blame when the pregnant Kanye West comes after them.

 

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