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Imponderable #100: The Swimming Pool

12 Jul

July 12, 2013

In honor of the 100th Imponderable (a feat which I, with my short attention span and chronic laziness, never thought I would reach), I present this week a double helping of only in the summer Imponderables.

n1

This is a teen movie come to life. Think about it- you are all alone and a woman wants to swim, totally naked, in your pool while her husband is gone. Who is going to say no? Unless the woman is built like Roseanne Barr, no one would. So she swam around for 20 minutes, during which the man had about a million fantasies run through his head, and wham bam, long story short, no one should be surprised that his house was robbed. What could be a better distraction?

Try a small inflatable raft.

raft

Jeez Louise! An inflatable rubber raft, in public, on multiple occasions. It has to be love. Edwin Tobergta, Raft F*cker and Rosie the Raft, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G.

Or worse.

What is wrong with this nutjob?
The question is Imponderable.

A RAFT?????

Summer is the cruelest season. These crimes would never have happened in the freezing winter.

Imponderable #99: Dennis Rodman

5 Jul

July 5, 2013

dr1

Heck, why not? Personally, I’m all for it. I say keep North Korea distracted with nut jobs like Rodman. The more distracted North Korea is, the safer the rest of us are. Send Rodman back, then book a flight for the Philly Phanatic and the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. The politicians will probably send over some package of money and food to placate him, but if all it takes is airfare for some clowns and eye candy, then I’m all for it. I’m calling on the Nobel committee to do Dennis Rodman a solid and give him the award.

phillie-phanatic

TQII