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Fun With Teh Internets: Google Analytics

20 Aug

August 20, 2012

Hi everyone! I’m still on vacation; it’s going great thanks for asking! Well, it’s going great for me anyway. Not so much for those poor Sherpas, but hey – they knew the risks.

In the meantime, I understand Mr. B is scraping the bottom of the barrel and reprinting some of my earlier works. My agent should know better than to allow that! She knows my archives are coming out in book form soon enough! Kill Whitey: The Collected Works of Allen Keyes will be available next month from Do-It-Yourself Press (an imprint of U-Pay-For-It Books). So in an attempt to keep him from violating my copyright further, here’s something to tide you all over until I return.

Transparency is the new buzzword nowadays. So in an effort to be transparent, I thought I’d share with you all some of the Google analytics we regularly run on this blog. This is real behind-the-scenes stuff everyone. We’re through the looking glass people! Let’s check this stuff out and see what makes Mr. BTR tick….

KEYWORD SEARCHES:

Below are the top 5 search requests that have been driving traffic to the site in the past year:         Note to my legions of enemies: I’M STILL ALIVE AND KICKING BEEOTCHES! You thought you cut the brakes to my car, but it wasn’t mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re gonna have to raise your game to take me down chumps! But I’m not worried. Trump failed, what can the rest of you do?

TRAFFIC SOURCES:

These are the most common sites that people come to us from. They visit these sites before coming to our little corner of the net: 

Wow, we have a real highbrow bunch here. I mean jeeze guys. What is wrong with you? Harvard Divinity School? This is a family site, we don’t want any of that kind of stuff here. Bruce Villanch is diesel, just try and tell me he isn’t.

COUNTRIES VISITING US: 

MBTR seems to have a global reach. Heck, it’s extra-global! For our North Korean friends I’d like to say: 퇴폐 서쪽을 지배할 것 이다!  For our friends in Monaco I’d like to say:  Look guys, I apologize for that little incident in the casino last year. It wasn’t really me, it was the Drambuie talking.  I’ll pay back that baccarat marker in no time.

LANDING PAGES:

The most popular individual pages on the site: Ah yes, I remember that column quite well. I put my heart and soul into writing it. I really dug deep and wrote from the heart to explain myself and what I was feeling and my motivations. Reviewing the Death of Sad Sack was quite possibly the best writing I’ve done over my 32 year career….

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For more in depth stats, check this out and find out who really reads Mr. Blog.

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The Saturday Comics: Bob Hope

18 Aug

August 18, 2012

Last week’s installment, featuring Jerry Lewis, led me these Bob Hope comics.

From wikipedia, which I trust as much as I do any site which exercises no control over its content, i.e.: not at all.

The Adventures of Bob Hope is a comic book series that was published by National Periodical Publications (an imprint of DC Comics). The series featured stories based on comedian Bob Hope, as well as assorted other humorous stories. The series ran for 109 issues from 1950 through 1968

In the early 1950s, with sales for superhero themed comics on the decline, National Periodical Publications began licensing the right to use celebrity images, including Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Alan Ladd, and Bob Hope. Issue #1 (cover dated February–March 1950) set the tone for most of the 1950s. The lead story would feature Hope in a misadventure similar to his film roles; the back up stories tended to revolve around movie-related themes or characters. For example, issue #1 had a story on Rhonda Fleming, Hope’s co-star in the 1949 film The Great Lover.

By the 1960s, sales for the Hope series began to flag. The editors attempted to add some contemporary humor by introducing the character Super-Hip in issue #95.Despite the changes, the series was canceled with issue #109 (March 1968).

Super-Hip? What the heck is a Super-Hip?

Tadwallader Jutefruce (a spooneristic pun on “fruit juice”) is the crew cut and bow tie-clad ‘nephew’ of Bob Hope and a student at Benedict Arnold High School, an educational facility whose “Faculty of Fear” is made up entirely of Universal Horror-style monsters, including principal Dr. Van Pyre, German-accented science teacher Prof. Heinrich von Wolfmann, and coach Franklin Stein.

Whenever Tad loses his temper (usually at the instigation of a stupid prank by fellow students billionaire biker bully Badger Goldliver and his simple-minded stooge Doltish), the uptight mild-mannered boy genius turns green, starts to spin like a tornado and transforms into Super-Hip.

The long-haired Super-Hip’s outfit resembles a 1960s Carnaby Street Mod a la Austin Powers, complete with ruffled shirt, velvet jacket, and Chelsea boots with winged ankles that, similar to the Sub-Mariner, allow him to fly. He also magically acquires an electric guitar which causes whoever hears it to dance uncontrollably whenever he plays rock and roll, and he can, like Tom Terrific, change his form into virtually anything, limited only by his often surreal imagination.

Tad has no memory of his time as the obnoxious and egotistical “Sultan of Swingers”, and the only ones who know of his secret identity are his Uncle Bob and his highly educated talking dog, Harvard-Harvard.

Super-Hip’s battle-cry is “Down with/Blech to Lawrence Welk!”, as hearing the television bandleader’s schmaltzy music acts like kryptonite on him.

Ho boy, this is one series I’d gladly skip right over.

Click on the thumbnails belew for larger pics.

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