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The Chiller Theatre Horror Convention 2012

8 Nov

November 8, 2012

This year’s Chiller Theatre Horror Convention was held in the Sheraton Parsippany, New Jersey, hotel the weekend before Halloween. This was their first year at that location and, despite being a pain in the neck to get to, the hotel was perfect- from the outside it looks like an old castle.                  You would almost expect Vincent Price to be prowling around the halls, like in an old Roger Corman epic based on one of Edgar Poe’s tales. Well, Price was not there this year, chiefly due to scheduling conflicts with his death, which was back in 1993. But while The Price of Fear may not have made the scene, the Red Death was there in full regalia. 

Death was a popular guest. There was more than one Reaper stalking the halls, and in fact they would sometimes run into each other and wave scythes at each other in a vain attempt to banish the other to the underworld. 

As you can tell from both pictures, Death loves hand gestures. Anyway, this particular avatar of doom would not stop yelling. You wouldn’t know it from the picture but from the depths of his rubbery skull issued the muffled voice of eternity, bellowing out “I am the REAL grim reaper! Visit my website www.therealgrimreaper.com!“  So I went to his website, and discovered that The Real Grim Reaper is a registered trademark. I hope that Pestilence, Famine, and War have protected themselves online as well.

Creepy hand gestures were not limited to the masters but their servants used their menacing digits as well. Barlow from Salem’s Lot was making the scene, and he seemed to be flashing some undead gang signs. 

I have to point out that none of the guys walking around in costumes- and there were many- were guests of the convention. They were just men and women who dressed up and walked around. And though I mercifully took no pictures of them, the scariest of them all were the trannies and drag queens.

I took fewer pictures than you’d expect, but there were two men whom I had to photograph.  First, The Dark Knight. 

While there were three of four Batmen walking around, the others really were Dark Knights, all dark armor and black costumes. This was the only Adam West Batman in the place and was easily the most photographed.

The problem with Batman is that Gotham is never safe with him around. The argument from Gotham’s Mayor is that a loony like Batman invites loony crooks. You never see freaks like Killer Croc in NYC. He may be right, because no sooner did I snap Batman’s picture than did the waddling arch-criminal himself make an appearance, the Penguin. 

Seriously, how many times do you see people dressed up as the Penguin these days? And I have to tell you, this man reeked of cigarettes. I stood next to him and it was disgusting.

There were literally close to a hundred guests at the convention, each charging for their autographs. Boris Karloff’s daughter Sara was there, as were dozens of minor actors from 1950’s B-movies. There was a reunion of the Porky’s cast (what that has to do with horror I have no idea) and Ace Frehley from KISS, the one with the spaceman makeup was there. By far, he had the longest lines for autographs. There were many real names there, like the guy from Perfect Strangers (Balki? Schmalki? Whatever.) But also among the riff raff were people like Danny Glover, Valerie Harper (still not sure what she was promoting, it looked like some fan film about her hair) and believe it or not Penny Marshall, whom I am still sure is too big a name to be stooping to selling her signature at a horror convention. I had no interest in paying $25 dollars to talk to her, though my brother had the perfect opening line: “I always wanted to meet Myrna Turner!”

I didn’t spend much money there, though I was tempted, very tempted. There were hard to find DVDs (and tons of bootlegs), toys, comics, old games, high-end horror merchandise, and tons od t-shirts. In fact, I passed on it all and only spent money on one special autograph, from this man: 

No, no, not him. Although The Hammer was there I am pretty sure he was drunk.

The man whose autograph I got, and with whom I spent about 15 minutes talking with, was famous in the 1950’s and 60’s in horror television circles. 

Yep, the Cool Ghoul himself, John Zacherle. 

Check him out:

The “y” at the end of his name is apparently optional.

This man is 94 years old and is still going strong… as least as strong as he can. We briefly talked about his career, his job on radio, and my brother, who met Zacherle in 1994 and Zach didn’t remember. (Frankly, why would he?) The man was still having fun and was happy to be there. I could have left right then and there, but there were so many things left in the dealer rooms for me to drool over.

American Chopper: Junior Frustration

5 Nov

November 5, 2012

I will update this as the show progresses, so check back as the program airs for updated content.

American Chopper (Season 9)
Junior Frustration
With the Teutul’s new company seemingly at a standstill, Senior takes steps to initiate progress, sans Junior’s approval. Mikey provides much needed help to his busy brother, and PJD and OCC both stage unprecedented unveils.

Ah, just like the good old days.

“Are we playing good cop bad cop? No mind games?” -Jason, on his upcoming phone call to Paulie. This is a bad start.
“Jason’s a bit of a goofball… he just gets on my nerves.” -Paulie, who was visibly disgusted with Jason

Jason (with Senior in the background) called Paulie  to ask some basic questions about the design he sent over last week and Paulie more or less said ” you don’t know what means? Seriously?

“Innovative isn’t what you’re doing, repetitive is what you are doing.” -Jason, who obviously did not see 90% of the bikes he drew.

“I’d rather sit there and design at the lift than do drawings that often don’t work in 3 dimensions.” -Paulie, who obviously has seen 90% of the bikes Jason drew. Let’s be honest here- Jason is the kid who grew up tracing GI Joe comic books and got really good at drawing motorcycles. Paulie is the kid who started building GI Joe toys out of Legos and eventually got really good at building motorcycles. Who am I going to trust to design a bike? Easy answer- Paulie, because I’ve seen the shit Jason “draws,” with horse’s head, giant antlers,a nd of course the Build-Off bike that was not a bike but instead some flame-shooting sled that even hurt Senior’s back to lay on.

“I think before we get the ball rolling we should come up with some really cool nicknames.” -Jason, who was a TOTAL DICK during the call yet claimed that Paulie had an attitude. You know what, if I had a clown like Jason on the phone I’d have an attitude also. Put on Senior, not his little bobo.

Meanwhile, the Superbike build goes on at OCC. “It is a high-tech bike and the majority of it is over my head.”- Senior.

Senior called PJD himself and got a far different response. When an adult calls PJD on adult business he got an adult response. When a kid called PJD he got what Jason called “an attitude.” Hmm, what was the difference? Meanwhile, by mutual agreement, they put the commercial that Paulie was going to make for the OCC Cafe on the back-burner since they were both too busy. Honestly, I was more interested in that than the production bike.

It’s the grand opening of the OCC Cafe and the unveil of the Cafe Bike! It was also the debut (on tv, anyway) of Senior’s partner in the Cafe, Carlos Urbaneja. “You’re going to hear a lot from us in the future.” I bet the next we hear is that it goes out of business.

But more importantly, it is also the return of Mikey! With a short haircut! Paulie wants Mikey at the Cre8Play playground build. Not only is everyone from PJD busy, but Mikey will probably hang from the monkey bars and act all goofy. Mikey seemed happy to get back in front of the camera for a limited time. “I’m flattered anyone would want me back on the show.”

At about the half hour point, Vinnie called Rick to talk about the production bike merger. Neither had any idea what was going to happen, but Vinnie, as I’ve pointed out, is miserable about the thought of going to OCC. “I might have to take a stand on this one and say no.” “My deal when I started here (PJD) was that I wasn’t going back there (OCC).”

“He doesn’t want to come back.” -Rick, who also said “I think it is going to be a good thing.”

“So Mikey is coming instead of Paulie. Bit of a surprise.” – the disappointed Todd Lehman, founder of Cre8play. I’d be disappointed to.What kind of a message does it send that the man to whom you’ve given a ton of money not only can’t show up, but sends his brother who is not a builder and is no longer even associated with PJD? Meanwhile, count him in as, no surprise, someone who thinks a business deal with OCC is a bad idea. “It’s like a kamikaze mission.”

“I was wronged there. A lot of people were wronged there.”
“Evil things were done there, it is an evil regime.”
“They take advantage of you, in a bad way… over time, royalties and stuff like that.”
“It was a lot more than just leaving because you wanted to move on.”
“I’m not the only guy that got railroaded.”
“I don’t want to be forced to go over there, I’m not even willing to give it another try.”
“If I go over there, then I have to confront him (Senior.) I haven’t seen him in a few years, but I watch the show, and if he’s a changed guy then he’s just recently changed.”
“I don’t need OCC.”
(Are you going over there?) “I have to say no.”
“I thought things were going really well over here but my future is up in the air.
That’s all Vinnie, talking to Cody, and hinting at a lot of things I’d love to hear more about.

Somehow forgotten in all this is the bike OCC is doing for Big Ass Fans, whatever that is. If I were them I’d be a little upset since much of it is just taken from another bike they were already building for Senior and parts they had lying around the shop. Not sure they are getting their money’s worth.

NEXT WEEK:
YET ANOTHER DUMB BUILD-OFF, with OCC, PJD, Jesse James, the beards from Fast and Loud, and whoever else Discovery can shoehorn in. Probably the third mate from the Rambling Rose and one of the American Picker guys too.