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Old-School Fashion: Never In Fashion

21 Jan

January 21, 2014

I usually hate to admit that there are other websites out there. There’s Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, The Christian Science Monitor, and lots and lots of naughty naughty sites. But I have to be honest, sometimes, just this once, and say that yes, I do go to other sites. For example, I followed a Facebook link to Awkward Family Photos. The best I can say about them is that they used to be a lot funnier. But I was bored and around the fourth of fifth page I found this old article. (No, not an old-time article “ye,” but a newspaper article.)

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Wow, remember when little televisions were cool and state of the art? And an AM/FM radio too? Awesome! But the sasquatch on the left? Never in style. He is clearly wearing a dog on his head. And the rest of the outfit? Obviously from the Herb Tarlek Collection at Mr. Polyester.

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Laugh if you will, but that style is not limited to real or imagined newsmen.

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You Can’t Play Baseball Without Balls

16 Jan

January 16, 2014

The Chicago Cubs. Loveable losers of baseball. They have a great ballpark, albeit kinda rundown, and some great players over the years. but never a mascot. Until now. The Chi-town Cubs unveiled their first ever mascot yesterday. Ladies and gentlemen, Clark the Cub.

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Cute, huh? I’m not sure what “cute” has to do with being a MLB mascot. The Philly Phanatic is some sort of tongue-lashing beast, The San Diego Chicken is a fearsome warrior, and Mr. Met suffers from hydrocephalus. None of them are cute. So rightfully so, reaction among baseball fans has been clear and absolute: they hate the thing. And so they set out to destroy it. Deadspin.com started a contest to see who could deface the mascot in the funniest way, and trust me, there are many. Well, one stood, um , not head and shoulders, exactly, above the others, and was the clear winner. In fact, some local media was covering the mascot and somehow (and I really want to know how and who got fired) one of the Deadspin versions aired instead of the real one. Let’s watch and see how professional newsreaders handle the unexpected.

He’s friendly, he loves kids, he doesn’t wear pants. You can’t script this, folks.

In other news, Florida’s Billy the Marlin has been arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

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