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American Chopper News! American Chopper Return Date + Name Change

28 Aug

August 28, 2012

This ran last week in the New York Post. I’ve added some commentary in red.

Rebuilding
‘American Chopper’ father, son try to mend feud
By MICHAEL STARR

Last Updated: 10:48 AM, August 24, 2012
Posted: 10:16 PM, August 23, 2012
EXCLUSIVE

Call it a Teutul huddle.

American Chopper” stars Paul Teutul and his son, Paul Jr. (or “Paulie”) — whose three-year feud has ripped their family apart — are talking about reuniting to build a bike and repair their shattered relationship.

“Talking” is the operative word here.

“It’s fairly early, but I have a good feeling,” Paul Sr. told The Post. “I think that, out of the last two-and-a-half years, this is probably the first time it seems kind of real.”

Father and son have been estranged since Paul fired Paulie from Orange County Choppers in 2008 after an epic blowup (they had a stormy relationship, even in the best of times).

Paulie then opened his own competing shop, Paul Jr. Designs — three miles from Orange County Choppers — which was featured for two seasons on TLC’s “American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior.” (The show is back to using its original “American Choppers” title.)

Both men, interviewed separately, say they were wary when show producers broached the idea of them reuniting to build a bike, which will be featured in the Sept. 3 season opener.

Mr. BTR: “Reality” show? The producers broached the idea? When the season finale aired and Senior called Junior with the idea of building a bike together for charity he acted like it was his idea and Paulie acted surprised. This show is so fake, so scripted, so set up it was obvious that even without this admission we all knew that there was little reality here. Yes, there is bad blood between them and yes, there are legitimate problems, but from the bikes that the network sets up for them to build (Deadliest Catch bike was the most obvious one) to the manipulative editing to the blatant situations like this, created solely for the show, there has been no reality here for ages.

“You know what? For me it just became time,” says Paulie. “It’s been a long time, and a lot of bad stuff took place, and it was just like, something is gonna change or it was never gonna change.

“The hopes were to start this earlier, but I didn’t feel like my father was necessarily saying the right things in my direction. I kind of stopped waiting for him to change and said, ‘Let’s do it.’ ”

Senior says he thinks “it’s gonna take some time” to mend fences.

“This is probably more of a beginning, hopefully,” he says. “It’s not like [the blowup] was something that happened only during the show. Our relationship was like this before the show, too. So, in essence, the [fight] was the best thing that could have happened. Even though it was upsetting to everybody, including our family, I think sometimes you have to get to that place to be able to realize that things didn’t work out . . . everything has to be re-earned again. I feel good about it.”

Paulie says he entered into the tentative agreement on two conditions.

“I wanted to make him feel comfortable, so . . . I said, instead of arguing about what kind of bike [to build] and where to do it, let’s do it up at my father’s house,” he says.

“The biggest thing was that I didn’t want to mix the businesses,” he says. “That’s the key. I’m way too far along with my company to make my clients wonder what’s going on here. I won’t allow that line to be blurred.”

Paul Sr. sounds hopeful it will all work out.

“Listen, there’s a lot of hurt and a lot of anger through this whole thing,” he says. “Do I have an open mind about the whole thing? Yeah. Do I want to see things work? Yeah. Do I want it like it was before? No.”

“You have to understand, everybody has their own issues with him,” Paulie says of his father. “I hope it starts with us and I hope it continues . . . and hopefully it will trickle down, for his sake and for the rest of the family’s sake.”

American Chopper, and Mr. Blog’s American Chopper Weekly Rundown, will return on September 3rd. 

1984 Previewed, by Rad Gnarly

27 Aug

August 27, 2012

Allen Keyes is still on vacation this week, without access to the internet while he explores the sewers of Oakland.  By agreement with his publisher, Shady Books, we present to you this reprint from the Nov. 1983 edition of Pictacular Magazine, where Allen Keyes writes under his non de plume, Rad Gnarly. In the meantime, be on the lookout for his album, Keyes Kroons Kristmas Ksongs, available at Tower Records and Virgin Megastores everywhere.

1984 Previewed, by Rad Gnarly

As 1983 draws to a close, we’re beginning to look forward to 1984. Lots of big things are in store! But we should not be remiss in looking back at some of the high points of this past year.

It was a pretty good year for me personally. I mastered the hackey sack, solved one side of the Rubik’s Cube (that’s right ladies, all this and brains too!)  and nobody- and I mean nobody!- had a more stonewashed pair of jeans than I did. Collar up, hair teased, jeans cuffed, I was the king of the mall! And we didn’t take any backtalk from those preppies either! Ahh, I can’t imagine a day where hackey sacks and stonewashed jeans wouldn’t be hip! And if it ever was, I wouldn’t want to live in that world man!

Setting my own life aside, 1983 had some major highs. For example, we were introduced to quite possibly the greatest movie creations ever:


Return of the Jedi itself was a dreary mess, why did they waste all of that time with the boring Luke storyline anyway? The Ewoks were where it’s at!  Totally dudical! I guarantee, everyone who watched left the theater longing for more of these adorable little rascals! I’m glad this is the final Star Wars film anyway, it’s nothing but an inexplicable fad that is finally buried for good. That said, I look forward to the inevitable series of Ewok spin-off movies. I’ll be first in line!

In political news, 1983 bought some welcome relief in the form of this man:

“Fritz” Mondale! He’s running against this Reagan guy – gag me with a spoon! I predict that the nation is ready to listen to and embrace Mondale’s tax-and-spend policies. It’s a slam dunk! It’s so in the bag I’ll even say Fritzy boy runs away with the election and wins 49 states! I’ll give old Ronnie one just to be generous.

Ok, enough looking back! 1984 is shaping up to be a fly year, and I have the scoop on the highest of the highs (besides my stockbroker that is. Nobody is higher than him! It’s all good though….I trust him with my money. Junks bonds are very safe investments. I won’t be doing this gig forever! Me and my boombox will be in Tahiti for the duration soon enough!)

TELEVISION:

 There’s been a lot of press recently over the announcement by NBC that they’re giving some nobody named Bill Cosby his own show. And he’s naming it after himself! What chutzpah! I mean look at this guy:

Would you give this guy a show?  Yeah, me neither. DESTINED TO FAIL! While this one gets all the hype, let me give you the inside dope (inside my nose lol!) on what the real breakout show of ’84 will be:

That’s right! AKA Pablo.  Paul Rodriguez is a much more talented comic than Bill Cosby could ever be, and the subject matter – a Puerto Mexican trying to pass himself off as an American – just lends itself  to all sorts of HYSTERICAL situations. I mean, look at this advance solicitation from beloved eternal American institution TV Guide:

“GET AN AMERICAN NAME!” HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  Early contender for catchphrase of the year! (And delivered by the sultry Bea Arthur to boot…..grrrrrrrawl!) Now compare it to this plot of a Cosby Show: “Theo Buys a Shirt”  — I know which one me and my brothers at the Sons of the White Race Lodge will be watching at 8:30 this season!

 CINEMA:

Going to be hard to top the accomplishments of 1983. Some of the best movies were actually sequels:

JAWS 3-D

 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3

 Superman III

 

And 1984 will be no different. The early line favorite (got that from beloved eternal American institution Jimmy the Greek!) for tops at the box office is this eagerly anticipated sequel:

Burt Reynolds will FINALLY win his long-overdue Academy award for this one! And Jamie Farr plays against type as a sheik! I’m there dude!! Expect it to run over other films, including some overhyped indie project:

Look at it….looks kinda boring doesn’t it? Some tired old guy just sorta leaning against a pillar. *YAWN* Compare that to THIS from Cannonball Run 2:

Box Office Gold! Indiana Who? Temple of What? I swear, that Dom DeLuise is simply the living end!

SPORTS

1984 baseball is expected to sport (get it!) an impressive roster of rookies. Twins fans are predictably in a lather of excitement over their latest overhyped prospect:

Yeah, funny stuff! Like this guy will ever be more than a utility player. I mean look at his name. It’s a universal baseball axiom: “NO MAN NAMED AFTER A PICKLE WILL EVER BE A GOOD PLAYER” The Twins will NEVER win a World Series, not with guys like this clogging their roster.

Period.

I’ve been watching baseball for years, and the Expos have one packed farm system. They have one stud prospect ready to absolutely come up and dominate, and he’s even better than can’t-miss beasts Rene Gonzales and Joe Hesketh.

America, meet your new sweetheart:

 

Look at him! He just looks like a winning player! The Expos finally have some talent on that roster. My money is on the Expos winning the series this year. And yours should be too!

TOYS/POP CULTURE

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………..Mr. T!!!!!!!!!! will seek to extend his toy store and television domination to the supermarkets:

Delicious! And nutritious – just look at it! “Fortified with B-Vitamins and Iron!” JUST LIKE THE REAL MR. T!! I’d like to run out and get myself a huge bowl of it right now. Corn Flakes are dead, nobody will want to eat boring old flakes anymore! All the kids will demand their mothers buy this. Mr. T = quality. Just look at his other products if you don’t believe me (these are some of my private collection)

 

NEWS YOU CAN USE:

Look for Iran and Iraq to continue their long and bloody war. The good news here is democratically elected Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein is a good friend of ours, and has promised us that if we lend him our support, he’ll end the war swiftly and treat his enemies with kindness, and compassion. He’s a true humanitarian, and he’s been a great friend to the United States to boot! Oh Saddam! Our good friend! We’ll always enjoy our mutually cooperative relationship. Godspeed Saddam, a true gentleman if there ever was one!