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Milestones of Journalistic Excellitude

8 Aug

August 8, 2014

There’s a lot of speculation over the hotly anticipated Batman v Superman movie. How badly will Ben Affleck suck? Is this nothing more than a Dark Knight Returns rip-off? Will Kevin Smith ever shut up about this movie?

Luckily, there’s the internet to tell us exactly what’s going on.

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There you have it fans, straight from the International Business Times, via Badass Digest. With unnamed sources like that, how could this possibly be wrong?

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With a scoop like that, you need a SPOILER WARNING!

For its awesome journalism, not to mention enviable math skills, I present the 2014 Milestones in Journalistic Excellitude Award to Tanya Diente! (Actually, based on that article, I’m starting to doubt if Batman will be in Batman v Superman.)

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Pro Wrestling Smackaround!

20 Jul

July 20, 2014

Good evening everybody and welcome to Wrestling World Congress Smackaround! I’m S. Sterling Samuels and we’re in beautiful downtown Compton for tonight’s show. Let’s welcome in my partner Paul Bunyon Jr!

Give me that mic, time to let a real man talk! We’ve got a great show for you tonight. We’re starting off hot with a title match- Sean “The Irish Taliban” O’Reilly will be taking on The Dismangler and this ought to be a good one!

That’s right Paul. The Dismangler has had his sights set on The Irish Taliban since he stole The Dismangler’s lucky horse shoe.

After that it’s a tag match with Biff and Tad, The Preppy Punks.

Yeah, tonight they’re fighting Iron Moose Johnson and Refrigerator Raymond, and Biff has promised that after the match, Moose is getting a makeover.

You don’t want to miss that! And speaking of don’t miss matches, we’ve got a match coming up with a really unusual stipulation.

This has been a long time coming, the bad blood between these two goes all the way back to last year’s pay per view, WWC Wrestling Implosion! Shakespeare Romeo is taking on The Diamond Ninja in a loser gets deported match.

Yes, and there’s some controversy here since The Diamond Ninja was born in Illinois. If he gets deported, where is he going to go? He’ll be a man without a country!

Later tonight Ace Rocker takes on El Hijo De Tuna, but first, let’s go to the ring for our first match. It’s a rematch from their famous 2013 bout, the Thrilla in Akron. It’s Ghetto Rodney vs. Muttonchops McFly in a loser buys dinner for life match!  Fans, let’s go to the action!

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