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500

12 May

May 12, 2011

Although WordPress says this is my 500th blog that may not be quite true. Like many of the Jewish High Holy Days, the exact date of my 500th post is not certain.

To be sure, this is my 500th post on WordPress. However, Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride started on MySpace in 2006 and in 2009 I moved all of my old posts here. Actually, I moved most of my old posts here. Here is where the trouble starts.

Out of about 247 blogs I only moved around 200 of them. The others I left behind because they were too personal, too serious, or more often than not, just not funny. (What didn’t make the cut? Well, a list of the songs in my iPod for one. Hey, they can’t all be winners.) I still have them on my hard drive and a huge printout so they still exist, just not on WordPress. And they count because they were published and read under the Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride banner. Simple enough, right?

Wrong. When I moved the old blogs I split some of them in two. For example, my reviews of Terminator: Salvation and Star Trek originally appeared together in the same post. Other blogs I didn’t republish in full and only excerpted, sometimes, again, in separate blogs. So I wrote more posts than appear here, but I also wrote less than appear here.

Further confusing the issue is the fact that I printed some posts that already appeared here a second time as either a Flashback! classic or a Classic Repost. So the number of blog posts went up but the number of actual posts stayed the same.

I’ll make it worse. I did a series of reposts from Skinner.fm, now Flash Pulp and those contained no original work from me at all. I also did two features on the art of Michael Mongello. While I did make an original header image and just a touch of writing, by and large I can’t take credit for those, so blog post count goes up, actual blog number stays the same. Again.

And to makes more confusing, there is one blog counted that was read grand total of three times before I made it private, never to be seen again. Except by me. That blog caused me enough trouble, thank you very much. Since I never deleted it and it still exists on WordPress it is part of the 500.

So there you go. With the blogs that drive the number up and the blogs that drive the number down more or less balancing each other out, I say to Hell with it, let’s go with the number I see when I look at the stats.

500 it is.

If you do the math you must wonder way a blog that started in 2006 is just now hitting 500 posts. In the beginning this was a once a week blog, then it slowly grew and grew to become the monster that takes up too much of my time that you see today. This blog is and always was a one-man show. Everything from the background image to the posts are all mine. The exception is the wonderful Mike Monge header you see atop for the 500th post.

I could get silly and all “what does 500 mean to me?” but I won’t. I could bore you with stats and tell you that the word “unexpurgated” never appeared in my blog but “shit” clocks in at 135. I could go behind the scenes and tell you that all The Tepid Zombie blogs more or less do the same “voodoo man” and “eat brain” jokes or I could tell you that out of the original five readers of this blog in 2006 only one still has a subscription.

I won’t go down that road.

I simply want to take the time to thank a few people with the only thanks that count- plugs.

First, Jim and Relic Radio. Jim is master of OTR, old time radio. You can find his fantastic collection of vintage radio shows on iTunes, and it was on the amazing Relic Radio forum that a casual mention of “I once had a blog on MySpace” burgeoned into the mess I run today. (But don’t hold that against him.) Jim is a great guy and all of the forum members bring something special to his site.

There are some fantastic people on those forums, like Janece, whose quote graces the “raves” sidebar of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, and Peter (Jello Again!) Church, actor extraordinaire who dabbles in his own Radio’s Revenge podcast.

They are not the only creative types you’ll meet there. People like Matt Cowen of Vintage Horror (which has expanded my reading list to no end) and Mac, musician extraordinaire hang out there. “Musician extraordinaire” doesn’t scratch the surface of Mac. Meet him the forum and see for yourself, and read the bio of me on this very site. Mac generously wrote it.

JRD Skinner needs more eloquent words than I have to describe. I am not sure if I admire more his Flash Pulp fiction or his ability to post up to five or six times each day. As he’d be the first to tell you, he can’t do it alone, and his partners in pulp Jessica May and Opoponax deserve thanks and praise from me as well. In all honestly, I’ve always secretly believed that they are the power behind the throne.

If you’ve peeked at the header above you’ve seen the amazing work of the bacon-loving . Mike Mongello. I’ve dedicated a couple of pages to his work here and never fail to wonder how the heck he does it. He doesn’t swipe, that’s for sure.

I need to thank those who frequently comment here as well. They keep the conversation going and keep it interesting as well. The well-travelled TEStazyk  and Allen Keyes get my grateful thanks.

The Hook has a site that needs to be read to be believed. The things he puts up with on his job may test his patience but they make great reading.

And last of all, thank you.

Facebook links
Mike Mongello
Jessica May
The Savage Opoponax
JRD Skinner (CEO of Skinner Co.)
Flash Pulp
Relic Radio
Jim Paul
Matt Cowen
Peter Church

Twitter links
Jessica May
Opoponax
JRD Skinner
Relic Radio
Jim Paul (RetroJims)
Peter Church (Radio’s Revenge)

Websites
Relic Radio
Flash Pulp
Radio’s Revenge
Vintage Horror
Mac of BIOnight

Your Royal Flush Beats My Rook, But My Left Jab Knocked Out Your Queen

9 May

May 9, 2011

Have you ever played Chessboxing? It has the intellectualism and strategy of chess but adds the strength and violence of boxing, which, quite frankly, chess sorely lacked.

From wikipedia:
A match consists of up to eleven alternating rounds of boxing and chess. The match begins with a four-minute chess round. This is followed by two minutes of boxing, with rounds of chess and boxing alternating until the end. There is a one minute break between rounds. Speed chess is used, a form in which each player has a total of only twelve minutes for the whole game.

Competitors may win by a knockout, achieving a checkmate, by the judges’ decision, or if their opponent’s twelve minutes of chess time is exceeded. If a competitor fails to make a move during the chess round, he is issued a warning and he must move within the next 10 seconds. Repeated warnings may result in a disqualification. The players put on headphones during the chess portion so that they do not hear any shouted assistance from the audience or the live chess commentary. If the chess game reaches a stalemate, the scores from the boxing rounds are used to determine the winner. If the boxing score is also a tie, the player with the black pieces wins.

It seems to me that the sport favors the boxer. The more you hurt your opponent in the ring the less likely he is to be able to think straight in the chess part of the match.

This is an actual sport and is governed by the WCBO, The World Chess Boxing Organization. Here is the dizzying description of an actual chessboxing match:

November 28, 2009 saw the light heavyweight world championship bout between chess boxers Nikolay “The Chairman” Sazhin and Leo “Granit” Kraft, at the Ivan Yargin Palace of Sport in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia, before a crowd of 2000. Sazhin, a native of Krasnoyarsk, had previous amateur boxing experience, having fought in 95 previous bouts (winning 85), and possessed a chess Elo rating of 2005; however, he had recently suffered an injury to his knee. His opponent, Kraft, was four years younger (at 17 years of age); he was born in Gomel, Belarus, but was representing the German Chess Boxing Organisation. Although younger, Kraft had fought in 50 amateur boxing fights (with a record of 45 wins), and had an Elo rating of 1997.

The fight opened with the Gruenfeld defense, and was followed by the first boxing round, which was largely dominated by the younger Kraft. The return to the chessboard in the third round saw Kraft castling early, and the resulting play saw Kraft having to defend his king. Sazhin continued in the subsequent boxing round, taking the upper hand in the fight. However, once they returned to the chess board, Sazhin used up too much time attacking Kraft’s king. Thus by round eight Sazhin was forced to win by knockout or lose on the board. This he failed to do, and, on returning to the chess board, Sazhin resigned the match.

This somehow manages to be more confusing to me than Double Cranko, immortalized in the MASH season 6 episode “Your Hit Parade.”

Double Cranko – a game made up by Hawkeye Pierce and B.J. Hunnicutt on the TV series M*A*S*H, combining checkers, chess, poker and gin rummy. A checker cannot be “kinged” (as in checkers) if it is “in check” (as in chess), and if a player has a gin hand, both players have to drink from the distillery in their tent, “the Swamp.” When Radar O’Reilly asks how to play, Hawkeye says, “Bishops are worth three jacks, checkers are wild, and you have to be 21 or over to open.” When Hawkeye plays Colonel Potter, he uses an apparently strange move, and the Colonel asks B.J., “Is that in the rules?” B.J. replies, “What rules?” Colonel Potter remarks (to himself) “I think I’m beginning to understand this game,” (as the realization dawns that perhaps the game is played for the financial benefit of the teacher, Hawkeye). Hawkeye then says, “I think you’re ready for Triple Cranko!”

When asked to play, Radar declines, saying “Whenever I lose, I always like to know why.”

Another confusing game that combined a board game with fictional rules and ended in violence was Star Trek’s fizzbin, from “A Piece of the Action,” starring Mr. Blog favorite Vic Taybak.”

The rules were intentionally very complex. Each player gets six cards, except for the player on the dealer’s right, who gets seven. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays. Kirk dealt the henchman two jacks, which are a “half-fizzbin.” When the henchman said he needs another jack, Kirk warned that a third jack is a “shralk” and is grounds for disqualification. With two jacks, one wants a king and a deuce, except at night, when one wants a queen and a four.

At this point, Kirk dealt a third jack, but to keep the ruse going, he ignored the disqualification rule he had just made up. He explained that, had a king been dealt instead of a jack, the player would get another card, except when it’s dark, in which case he’d have to give it back. The top hand is a “royal fizzbin,” but the odds of getting one are “astronomical”: when Kirk asked Spock what the odds are, Spock truthfully replied that he had never computed them.

Kirk called the last card a “kronk” and then purposely dealt a card such that it fell on the floor. As the henchman being taught reached down, Spock nerve-pinched him while Kirk and McCoy attacked the other guards, allowing the three to escape.

 I’m sticking to Monopoly. I’ve never been run over by the Reading Railroad.