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Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Pet Rock

13 Jul

July 13, 2013

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The Pet Rock was either a terrible toy or the most genius idea ever made. What a great pet! You do not have to walk it, feed it, clean it, take it to the vet, pick up its poop, or even look at it. And in return? Paint it, dress it up, do what you will and it will never complain, let alone bark, meow, grunt, or make any noise related to any living organism, ever. It will never run away, make any noise, or in any way remind you that it exists. And what do you get in return? Pure, pure love.

It’s a rock!

What a great business that was. Rocks cost nothing to make and they are all over the place. Talk about your infinitely renewable resource.

This was a huge fad back in the 70’s, but then again, so was Richard Nixon and Viet Nam.

So what happened to all those rocks when the Pet Rock fad died? They were painted green and sold as Kryptonite.

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I have to guess that the only reason a kid would buy one of these was to lock it in a lead lined box so that Superman could never come in contact with it and lose all his powers.

What’s next for the Pet Rock? CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT!

Coming Soon: Mr. Blog’s Tepid Rock! Just in time for Christmas!

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The Spying Eye Sees: Mrs. Met

11 Jul

July 11, 2013

Who is that shapely brunette that The Spying Eye has seen on the arm of hunky major league baseball mascot Mr. Met? Sources say that Mr. Met has found a new love.

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Mr. Met’s family man image has taken a hit lately since his divorce. His first, red-haired wife, known for her charity work with disabled children, has not been seen around the baseball circles in New York for several years, and now this newer, thinner, and yes- hotter wife has taken her place around the baseball diamond.

Mr. Mets' first wife, not seen for many years.

Mr. Mets’ first wife, not seen for many years.

The Spying Eye has yet to get its hands on the prenup, but it is a sure bet that this new Mets hottie is in line for quite a load of Diamond Dust, if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, The Spying Eye has been unable to reach Rosie Reds, Mr. Mets’ former sister-in-law, for comment.

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The Spying Eye has just one word of caution for the new couple- keep your amorous displays of affection off the field and in the bedroom. Such antics as that pictured below have no place in a family ballpark.

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan's advice. ("Ladies, give up the butt!!")

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan’s advice. (“Ladies, give up the butt!!”)

The Spying Eye has not given up on the mystery of Mr. Met’s first wife’s disappearance. This undated photo shows evidence of some kind of brain surgery, given the scars around her temples.ku-mediumAnd in this more recent family photo, taken in 2004, Mrs. Mets’ lack of hair hints at recent chemotherapy.

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