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Imponderable: Toledo Oregon (Classic Repost)

6 Apr

April 6, 2012

This was the first Imponderable and it is still one of my favorites.

From June 23, 2011

Foreign Accent Syndrome is a real though hilarious malady. Simply put, some people with head injuries hurt a certain region of the brain that controls speech, leading to strange new speech patterns that sound like foreign accents. This must have been one awful root canal.

Yeah, I didn’t believe it either, but I looked it up and it is real. It doesn’t happen often, but it is documented. So in theory, someone from Nebraska can hit his head and wind up speaking like Patrick Stewart. The flip side is true too. Patrick Stewart could go in for a routine cavity fill and come out talking like Larry the Cable Guy.

Oh, how I wish that would happen. That’s hysterical. Sit back and think about it for a while. “Mr. La Forge, the warp engines have developed a negative feedback and the ventral stabilizer needs repair. Report to engineering and GIT-R-DONE!!!”

Star Trek: TNG really needed a few more rednecks, that’s for sure.

But to get back on track, reading the article brings up an imponderable question about British dentistry. The people of England are well-known for poor dentistry and bad teeth. So I submit to you this question about the British accent: is the British accent simply a matter of bad teeth? Could it simply be that the British accent is not a natural development but came about due to lousy dentists? Maybe there is no British accent, simply a neural reaction caused by head trauma.

Consider that Colonial Americans, upon leaving England and developing their own nation and dental system, within a few short generations lost the British accent.

It is a real chicken or the egg type of question. Which came first- the British accent or the bad teeth?

The question is Imponderable.

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“Waiter, this soup has too much gentleman’s buttock, please take it back.”

29 Mar

March 29, 2012

These are real products and while I will be the first to admit there are some cultural and language differences here, I am also the first to admit that I do not care.

Yeah, I admit that I took the cheap shot right off the bat.

But think about it, how many places can you go and ask for spicy cock and not thrown out, arrested, or your own rear end violated? Yes, I know that is chicken soup and yes I know that I am being immature but so what? I still laugh at farts too.

Hey, that mix contains artificial goat! No way! Booo!

I looked up the recipe for Mannish Water.

Ingredients
For 10

  •  2 pounds goat head and belly

  •  0.25 cup Grace White Cane Vinegar
  • 4 cups water
  • 4 cloves garlic, crushed
  • 6 whole pimento berries
  • 2 pounds yellow yam, peeled, diced
  • 4 medium carrots, peeled, diced
  • 2 large cho cho, peeled, diced
  • 1 pound irish potato
  • 6 fingers green bananas
  • 1 cup flour
  • 0.25 teaspoon salt
  • 0.5 cup water
  • 1 packet Grace Cock Soup Mix
  • 1 tablespoon Grace Caribbean Traditions All Purpose Seasoning
  • 2 sprigs thyme
  • 2 stalks escallion
  • 1 whole scotch bonnet pepper
  • 1 teaspoon Grace Hello Soft Margarine
  • 0.5 teaspoon Grace Caribbean Traditions Black Pepper
  • 0.25 cup white rum, optional

Directions

  1. Cut goat head and belly in small pieces then clean in a mixture of Grace Vinegar and 4 cups water.
  2. Pour 6 cups water in a pressure cooker, add 4 cloves crushed garlic, pimento berries and goat head and belly and pressure for 20 minutes.
  3. Turn off flame and allow pressure cooker to cool.
  4. Pour mixture into a 6 quart pot, add 4 cups water to pot and allow to boil.
  5. Add diced yam, carrots, cho cho, Irish potatoes and green bananas.

  6. Stir cover and leave to cook.To Make Spinners:

  7. Combine flour, 1/4 tsp salt and 1/2 cup water in bowl and knead to make a smooth dough.
  8. Leave dough to relax for 15 minutes.

  9. Make small spinners from the dough then add to the pot, stir and cover.For Seasoning:

  10. Add Grace Cock Soup Mix, Grace Caribbean Traditions All Purpose Seasoning, thyme, crushed escallion and whole scotch bonnet pepper, Grace Hello Margarine, Grace Caribbean Traditions Black Pepper and 1 tsp salt.
  11. Stir well and leave to simmer for 15 minutes.
  12. Turn off the flame and mix in the rum.

I have to admit, it seems really tasty but I never seem to have goat head around the house. I am always running out. And frankly this sounds like a lot of work just for me. This recipe serves ten. Who knew that 1.2 ounce packet could be so complicated to make? And where am I going to get ten people who love goat belly? Or better yet, why would I?

But none of that matters because unless you already know what this is, here is the only thing that comes to mind, at least my mind:

Sorry Saddam Hussein, there is no way I am drinking your bath water. That is the real Mannish Water.

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