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SAVE US CAPTAIN JET, SAVE US!

10 Dec

December 10, 2012

keyes1.jpg
Sports fans were rocked by the news that Jets super fan “Fireman Ed” had retired citing……something or other.  I couldn’t be bothered to really read about it. It’s not like Lou Gehrig’s retirement speech. For those of you outside of New York or with lives, Fireman Ed was some old sourpuss in a fireman’s hat who led the J-E-T-S  JETSJETSJETS! chant at Giants stadium, the home of the Superbowl Champion Giants (oh yeah, and the Jets also). He recently announced he was stepping down from his super fan position, quite possibly the first recorded instance of this sort of thing ever happening, because it’s just too stupid for words really.

     fireman ed                  

So with the void left by the “retirement” from a voluntary and non-existent job of being an overenthusiastic sports fan, tens of bored Jets fans cast their thoughts on the question – who will be the next “super fan” to lead the Jets?

Ladies and Gentlemen, wonder no more! I give you……………………………CAPTAIN JET (No, really):

 captain jet

There’s a lot to process here folks, so I made a helpful guide for you:

 Captain Jet - Meet Fireman Ed's Replacement!

 

….yeah, I know, I know.  I’m not even gonna make a further comment on this guy, except to note that he at least gives it his awful all.

Here’s a poseur spotted at that same game that needs to take a few lessons and up his act:

 UR DOING IT WRONG

 

Pretty sad really for both of these guys. They pale in comparison to the coolest football fans evah……the denizens of the Oakland Raiders “Black Hole”

 black hole1

So…..when does baseball season start again?

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Imponderable #71: England

30 Nov

November 30, 2012

Remember Pippa Middleton? Wasn’t she one of the Hobbits? I don’t know anymore and I didn’t care ever. Back when Prince Freddie and Princess Ungo got married, or whoever, she was there, I think. I never got caught up in the Royal Family Wedding Hysteria. In fact, and this is how my mind works, when I read the name “Pippa Middleton” this is what I thought of:

Hmm, perhaps the Imponderable should be “How does my mind work?”

We’ll save that for another time.

What a brain! From the “math is hard” school of little girl’s role models, here is some more of her advice found in online reviews of her book. These are real:

“Nowadays,” she continues, “I frequently celebrate Halloween over a supper with friends. It’s a wonderful excuse to let your imagination run riot with gory-looking food and special effects.” Among her suggestions:  “Stir witchy cauldrons of pumpkin soup; hang homemade spiders inside window nooks; string cobwebs on tables; and haunt gardens, attics, and stairways with ghosts made from sheets.”

This is a professional party planner, ladies and gentlemen. By her standards (use sheets to make a ghost) every eight-year old is a party planner too.

Seriously? Here is what I learned from her book.

1- Turkeys are big so they can feed a lot of people.
2- Boxes are good for keeping things in.
3- Halloween is a spooky time of year.

This is why she is more known for this:

than she is for this:

Just as a point of reference, here is that Peppa Pig that seems to be setting England aflame:

I still prefer Henrietta Hippo myself.

I guess the real question is why anyone would care what Pippa Middleton thinks about anything in the first place?

The question is Imponderable.
And also hypocritical given the fact that America may be the most starstruck nation in the world. But if I had to ask someone for advice about anything, I think I would probably ask Pippa Middleton before Khloe Kardashian.

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