Archive | food RSS feed for this section

Imponderable #113: Sydney Australia

18 Oct

October 18, 2013

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” finally has an answer.
“Because he was blind.”
And then he fell in a pool and drowned. But it was OK! Really, it all worked out fine. Read on!

chk1

Aww, poor Chooky Wooky. He must be the luckiest chicken alive. And what do you think of Chooky Wooky as a name? That’s either Chewbacca’s son in the next Star Wars movie or it is what I’m going to name my kid. I hope she likes it!

Anyway, I think this story is great. Heartwarming, really, very touching. Autistic girl, favorite pet, blind animal, rescue, and reunited. It has it all! (OK, it doesn’t have explosions, karate, or gratuitous and big-breasted female nudity but hey, it has a blind chicken, and that has to count for something.)

1801759c

This is the real-life Chooky Wooky and his new girlfriend

It took three hours of mouth-to-mouth, girl-on-chicken action to bring that fowl back to the land of the living. Good thing chickens don’t have souls or he’d be back as a zombie!

I have to wonder. Where would you draw the line? Would you perform CPR on a beloved snake? A weasel? A musk ox? Even a family’s beloved pet chicken is borderline, I’d think, given salmonella and all that. I guess it all depends on how you feel about chickens. For this I defer to George Costanza:

GEORGE: Do you think chickens have individual personalities?
KRAMER: (shivering) I don’t know.
GEORGE: If you had like five chickens could you tell them apart by just the way they acted? Or would they all just be walking around? Bak, bak, baak, bak? Cause if they have individual personalities I’m not sure we should be eaten `em.

Would you spend three hours performing CPR on a blind chicken?
The question is Imponderable.

But I would not.

Don’t you think that “Blind Chicken” would have made a great name for an old Southern blues man? Clarence “Blind Chicken” Perkins, for example. On the other hand, it also sounds like one of the Hekawi Indians on F Troop.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Hate CVS

10 Oct

October 10, 2013

Check this out.

cvs

“Reminder: Please check expiration or “best by” dates prior to purchasing.”

The CVS closest to me has these signs peppered all over the store. Even, and this is true, in the greeting card aisle. (There’s nothing worse than buying a Christmas card and finding out it expired on Easter.) This was apparently prompted by the fact that the store is full of expired items. No joke, I mean that. I’m not just talking about the last box of corn flakes sitting way back in the rear of the shelf. I bought a bottle of soda that had just been packed out on the end of the aisle, right near the registers, and when I opened it I found that it was flat and the expiration date was three months ago. And this was just put out for a big sale!

These signs are an admission that they put out expired stuff. They really should say “Warning! We put out expired food and if you are dumb enough to not look at the expiration dates, then too bad for you, sucker.” Instead of making sure that their items are fresh and their products have not expired, they are putting the onus on YOU to make sure that you do not buy stale stuff. 

OK, I can understand taking this little precaution. After all, I check expiration dates on everything I buy as a matter of course. I don’t trust stores not to put out expired goods. But unlike CVS, most stores do not come out and smugly admit that they sell expired goods. 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →