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Late Night Movie House: Rosie

22 Oct

October 22, 2013

Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you… ROSIE!

rosie-grier-ray-milland-the-thing-with-two-heads

No, not that Rosie, that’s Roosevelt Grier, noted needlepoint enthusiast, two-headed transplant, and sportsman. He’s in a category all by himself. (BTW, remember the best scene in that film? Ray Milland, on the operating table, sees his new body and says…)

Well, OK, that’s not the best line. The best line in the film comes just a few seconds later, when Whitey looks in the mirror and says “is this some kind of joke?” but I couldn’t find that clip online.

But the awesomeness of The Thing With Two Heads notwithstanding, that’s not the Rosie I’m talking about.

THIS is the Rosie I’m talking about:

What the fu--?

What the fu–?

I know what you are thinking: “Who the what now?” Settle back, and enjoy, if you can, which I couldn’t.

rosie

Wikipedia, a dog of a website, says about this dog: Nothing! It doesn’t have an entry.

IMDB says: Nothing! It doesn’t have an entry.

TCM, which actually aired this thing over the weekend, says: No information available for this title. (AKA Nothing! It doesn’t have an entry!)

I’m going to let this speak for itself. Consider yourself lucky that this is only a partial episode. I saw the whole thing Saturday night and I still can’t get back to sleep.

But as ever, Hollywood is not one to let an old idea lie, no matter how crappy the idea. I present to you, the ripoff Rosie called Willfred!

 

Sheesh, after all this, I should go back to the original name of this feature, Late Night Movie House of Crap. I’m sure Rosie Grier would agree.

The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: Smoking Popeye

19 Oct

October 20, 2013

treasure chest logo

There’s one toy I’ve always wanted to induct into the Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys. On the face of it, it sounds great: it combines one of my favorite comic strip characters (you know, the guy with the spinach and the anger management problem) with classic tin toys. But somehow it got all screwed up along the way and what should have been awesome became awful. Problem is, it turns out that my ne’er-do-well brother Allan Keyes already beat me to it. So without further ado, Smoking Popeye.

from November 12, 2012

SMOKIN!

Mr. B has been on his on-again, off-again bad toy kick. Which got me thinking about the BEST toy.  No, not Lincoln Logs. Not an Erector Set. Play D’Oh? NO! The best toy evah is…….

SMOKING POPEYE:                       

Yes, it’s as cool as it sounds! A Popeye that…..smokes. Fun for the family! But it really was a gentler time, when kids could actually have a toy like this. You could NEVER get this toy to market today. And it signals a sea change in the country, because there was a time when 9 out of 10 doctors endorsed smoking, and it was considered very glamorous thing to do: 

Mr. BTR has no clue who this actress is.

Hubba hubba!

But while us humans are slowly moving beyond smoking, there’s still one segment of the planet that is embracing smoking with a passion:

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS! TODAY’S SEARCH: SMOKING ANIMALS

1)

More fun that a barrel full of smoking monkeys! Monkeys are the most intelligent animal in the kingdom aside from us, so it figures that they’ve been smoking for quite a while now. There’s also unconfirmed reports that rhesus monkeys have started playing Barry White music before they…..uh, get busy with their monkey significant others.  Smart indeed.

2) 

Now this is a very civilized goat. You can’t see it behind the fence, but he’s wearing a natty jacket with patches on the sleeves. Unfortunately, he’s smoking rum and maple blend (UGH)

3) 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Isn’t that just the kewtest widdle thing! If that little one needed a light from me, I’d flick my bic! We all know how much Mr. B WUVS kittehs!!!!

Speaking  of cute cats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kYNId_Kvbo (The White Shadow one is my favorite!)

4)

This is NOT Pierre D. Duck, the World’s Greatest Duck, who is very anti-smoking and will quack at you if you smoke. You can find the link to his Facebook page in the sidebar.

The AFLAC duck celebrates after closing on the Glengarry leads…..

5)

Now that’s one bitch that knows how to party! (See what I did there?)

6)

Um…..what? This one doesn’t make any sense, but it’s so wonderful that I don’t care! This gives me hope that I can fulfill my dream of one day seeing a dolphin take a bong hit. For now, the closest I can come to that magical day is this: