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My Review of Long Island Medium

24 Oct

October 24, 2011

TLC has a lousy show about a psychic housewife from Long Island. I have not seen it but how could it not be lousy?

Long Island Medium stars a woman who, to put it kindly, is just what you think of when you think “Long Island housewife.” The premise is that she has a normal Long Island housewife life, goes Long Island housewife grocery shopping, works out at the Long Island housewife gym, whatever, and BAM! PSYCHIC FLASH! -the yenta somehow gets an insight into the life of some random stranger whom she has to accost on the street and annoy.

Who came up with the title “Long Island Medium”? What kind of a boring, unimaginative name is that? I can only imagine the rejected names- “Medium from Long Island” and “The Long Island Medium.”

As I said, I have not seen this show, but I have seen the commercials.

The most amazing one goes like this. She is in a gym (and she can use a few more squat thrusts if you know what I mean) and some other woman tells her to use her mystic mojo on some guy across the room. He’s a fireman and she asks him if something bad ever happened to him. The guy is a fireman. A New York City fireman. See where this is going?

The fireman breaks down and in tears says that “I was supposed to be at work on 9/11…”

Get it? She went up to a New York City fireman around the 10th anniversary of the WTC tragedy and asked him if anything bad ever happened to him? I’m no psychic but I could have predicted that answer.

And – BAM! PSYCHIC FLASH! I am getting a vision! I think that something bad has happened to you too! Tell me, oh reader, has anything bad ever happened to you? Yes? I knew it!

Yeah, get the point? Go up to anyone and ask a cold, open-ended question and see if damn, you aren’t psychic too. It helps if they already think you are a psychic and are ready to believe whatever you say.

PSYCHIC: “I am getting a strong feeling, a woman who died, she was close to you…”
RUBE: “Yes, yes, oh yes….” breaks into sobs.
PSYCHIC: “I sense it is your mother.”
RUBE’S MOTHER: “I’m sitting right here.”
PSYCHIC: “A grandmother, perhaps?”
RUBE: “OH MY GOD! My grandmother! How did you know?”
ME: “Hey tool, ask any adult about a dead relative and the odds are really good it is a parent or grandparent.”

It doesn’t take Criswell to predict that this show sucks.

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Imponderable #22: Heber City Utah

21 Oct

October 21. 2011

This may just be a legal term but he was booked for “investigation of failure to stop.” What is there to investigate? Isn’t he being booked for “failure to stop”? He isn’t being booked for an investigation, is he? This is why I hate lawyers.

Anyway, this story just bugs me. It is pretty funny on the face of it, but that quote by the Deputy Sheriff sits wrong with me. “He’d had a bad morning and wasn’t stopping for the cops. It was nothing more than that.”

I suppose he means that the driver wasn’t fleeing the scene of a crime, that there was no bank robbery in progress, no one got murdered, etc, and this is just no big deal.

Here is how I see it. A man has a bad morning, is in a bad mood, and speeds way over the limit. He ignores the police’s order to pull over, keeps going, and gets so angry that he calls the police department to tell them to leave him alone, and then his father to complain about the cops. He is not well thought out. So the angry and distraught driver is speeding and making calls on his cell phone and ignoring the police and this is no big deal?

Would Deputy Sheriff Rigby feel the same way if the driver plowed into his daughter’s car? This driver was distraught, distracted, and speeding. OK, I get that this is not a case for the Major Crimes Unit, but if I were driving on the road with that guy it would be a big deal to me. Take it a little more seriously, Wasatch County PD.

But there is on thing missing from the article.

Why isn’t this man undergoing psychiatric evaluation?

The question is Imponderable.

But maybe they are just more laid back in Utah.

And feel free to add your own “was he driving a white Bronco?” joke.

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