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The Saturday Comics: Monkeys in the Mail

2 Feb

February 2, 2015

cropped-sat-com-logo.jpg

Here’s a classic comic book ad I came across recently. Trust me, you’ll love it.

tiny dog ad

 

Of course, there is clearly a scam going on here. They are pretty desperate to get those snapshots, and not just for the “forty-nine cents and a few cents for our c.o.d. service plus postage.” And notice that the studio in the separate ad on the bottom of the page has virtually the same address as the main ad. So I can’t pin it down, but my Spidey-sense is definitely tingling.

Spidey-Monkey Sense

But this ad has maybe the best offer I ever saw. Better than Sea-Monkeys, better than x-ray specs, this is a real, live, miniature dog, the same kind Paris Hilton and the rest of the Hollywood airhead-types carry around in their purses. (BTW- think those dogs poop in there?) Or, and this is even better, A MONKEY! THROUGH THE MAIL! “Healthy and very intelligent.”

I said before this is a scam, and I can’t believe they’d send living critters in the mail “ENTIRELY AT MY EXPENSE,” and no, it isn’t clear who “MY” refers to.

But oh, to live in a world where young boys can get free monkeys in the mail! I can’t believe that every kid in America didn’t send in a coupon and break the world monkey market in the process.

 

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Generally Speaking

29 Jan

January 29, 2015

Most of my office returned to work today after a day off for a snow storm. If you live in the Northeast, this is the storm that dumped around two feet of snow and caused all life to grind to a halt. Except if you live in NYC, then you simply had an annoying 5 inches of snow.  (Yes, annoying, Not the “storm to end all storms” the weather service predicted, but enough snow to make you break a sweat while shoveling out your car.)

So we all returned to work today, including one guy who works on the other side of the office. I don’t know him, not even his name. He sits alone and works and never seems to socialize. He has a strange haircut and keeps his shirts buttoned up to the neck even in the hottest weather. I suspect he’s the type of guy who’d call in a bomb scare to Netflix if they weren’t streaming his favorite episode of I Love Lucy.

A whole bunch of us were standing around fairly close to his desk and some of the women started talking about the boots they were wearing. Someone else in the group noticed that none of the men were wearing boots and the subject came around to why we weren’t. I said that “men usually don’t care about boots unless they are a cowboy or a General.” It was just a forgettable, silly throwaway line.

“What about Privates?”

It was the weirdo. He was talking?

“You think Privates don’t wear boots?”

I said that I know that Privates, along with everyone else in the army, wear boots. It was just an expression. Then I asked “were you in the army?” That’s me, being all friendly.

“Privates wear boots. They do! It isn’t just Generals who wear boots, it’s all ranks in the army. All the armed services!”

I was going to thank him and then casually call the police, but he turned back to his computer and began typing. Was it about Privates wearing boots? I don’t know.

The conversation petered out after that.

marching%20boots

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