A Tale of My Father: The (Almost) Burning Man

26 Mar

March 26, 2018

My father was a man who had quite a lot of stories, and I can vouch that they were true. Stuck in a rioting hoard of women on Black Friday, calling Macy’s to complain about their Santa at the Thanksgiving Day Parade, or refusing to take off in a small plane from the shortest runway of an airport high on cliff, he had some interesting things to talk about. 

This one is short, and though it happened long before I was born, it could have had a dramatic impact on my life.

When he was younger, my Dad-to-be and some of his friends took a road trip. The details of when and where aren’t important and I’ve long forgotten them if I even ever knew them. I want to say they were teenagers but knowing Dad and some of his friends, they were probably in their twenties but acting like teenagers. 

So they were driving and it was getting late and they stopped for gas. One guy got out and was pumping while Dad and the others took the opportunity to stretch their legs. Well, they guy pumping the gas thought it would be a hysterically funny joke to turn the nozzle on Dad and soak him with gasoline. And another friend thought it would be even more hysterically funny to chase Dad around the car with a lit cigarette lighter. 

You can see where this is going.

Almost, almost!

Natural selection nearly took a hard left turn that night but either Dad was a faster runner back then, or his cries of “what the FUCK are you doing?” got through this friend’s thick skull and Dad escaped immolation and lived to laugh about it later.

It’s a wonder I’m here to write about this.



7 Responses to “A Tale of My Father: The (Almost) Burning Man”

  1. bmj2k March 26, 2018 at 12:05 am #

    Mr. BTR’s Blog Notes:

    Luckily, the worst part of the story is only that he had to spend the rest of the trip in wet, smelly pants. But which of us hasn’t had a night like that? 


  2. Mac of BIOnighT March 27, 2018 at 11:05 pm #

    O___O I hope your Dad learned to choose his friends better after that night…. o__O


    • bmj2k March 27, 2018 at 11:14 pm #

      I would say yes. He had a couple of friends who he remained very close to for the rest of his life, one in particular.

      When I was young I actually met one of the guys in this story. I’m not sure which he was, the guy who soaked him or the guy who chased him with the lighter, but my guess is the lighter guy. I was maybe seven years old and this friend came to the house one night, the first and only time. Mom wasn’t home (that might have been intentional). The friend wanted to see the rest of the apartment and Dad said sure. My brother and I were in bed but still awake when this weird guy popped his head in our room, said hello, and popped out. THANK GOD we knew Dad was having someone over or this would have scared the poop out of us and sent us hiding under the beds. But we knew and we took it as an opportunity to stay up a little later, and we went into the living room and showed off some toys or something, (Thinking back, this guy was like the original Kramer.)


      • Mac of BIOnighT March 30, 2018 at 9:54 am #

        Ah ah, cool 😀 It’s nice that your dad had loyal friends, not everybody does (my parents didn’t – actually, they had no friends whatsoever…).


        • bmj2k April 5, 2018 at 10:36 pm #

          One of Dad’s friends I’m still in touch with on Facebook.


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