June 25, 2016
Are you ready? I’ve got another GREAT idea! I know I have a pretty bad track record at great ideas. My last great movie idea was Hamsterus! Remember that? The touching story of a young boy and his giant radioactive hamster. I tried to get that filmed but there were several roadblocks in my way, such as lack of talent. But I’ve got another AWESOME MOVIE IDEA!
Are you listening, Hollywood? Good.
Mystery is played out. Love stories? Yesterday’s news. How about a good old fashioned Western? Nah. And sci-fi? Unless your name is Mr. Star Wars, tough luck. But I’ve got it.
There hasn’t been a really good stoner film since Seth Rogan and James Franco put out whatever their last piece of crap was. So what we need is a really hysterical stoner comedy. Pot is funny! And that’s what I’ve got in mind. If anyone is going to make stoner movies great again, I will. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…
BILLY AND THE DEAD MEAT!
I can hear you now! “Mr. Blog, that sounds amazing! We can’t wait to see your new movie, Billy and The Dead Meat. We love you! We want to have sex with you! Sell me a dozen tickets right now for a ridiculous price! We will pay anything!”
Yeah! I will be happy to take your money! (The sex thing? Not so much, for most of you. Send pictures.) But I think I should probably tell you a little bit more about this incredible film that will totally change your life and make me rich.
Billy is your typical teenage pot smoker. Now I don’t smoke pot and have no idea what teenagers are into nowadays (is Tokyo Drift still a thing?) but hey, how hard is it write a stoner? He smokes, forgets things, falls down and eats a lot.
He is best friends with The Dead Meat. He’s a stoner too but get this! He’s an old man. Think about it! An old man with the munchies! An old man selling pot on the street corner. HA! Old men don’t do that so it’s funny! Maybe I can throw in a medicinal marijuana joke and make it topical. It’ll be great!
Pot! Stoners! A guy called The Dead Meat! The plot? It writes itself! It writes itself so much that I’m not going to worry about writing it right now. I’m sure it won’t be too hard. I’ve got a great title. What more do I need?