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Archive | 12:01 am

Earnest Pizza

13 Mar

March 13, 2013

I had a boss some years ago at another job, back when I was a teacher. He came to mind just recently when I overheard a cheesy game show host on some cable station. The difference is that while the host seemed so fake and phoney, this man seemed incredibly true to himself. This is what I said about him back then.

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I’ve got a pretty good boss at work. He’s pretty honest and pretty fair and easy to get along with. If he has a flaw, it is that he’s so earnest. He comes across as a big boy scout (and he looks and dresses like one too.) Imagine all of these things said in a broad and overly, well, earnest voice.

  • “Hey buddy, really great to see you this fine morning.”
  • “This is all due to the fine work of the very excellent people you see gathered before me.”
  • “I would like you to meet, truly, some of the finest teachers it has been my pleasure to work with.”
  • “This is some quite fine work which I see here, and I do believe that it is reflective of the great effort which you have clearly put into it.”
  • “You are all, each and every one of you, to be commended.”

None of that is an act. My boss is really that way in real life. How do I know? Because I overheard him ordering pizza. You know what? He spoke to the pizza guy THE SAME EXACT WAY HE SPEAKS TO US.

“Hi. I’ve been using your pizza delivery service for quite some time now and I’d like to say that I am very satisfied with the quality of your service. Your delivery people are to be commended. To that end, I’d like to order two more of your fine pizza pies.”

Yes, really, that’s how he ordered pizza last week.

And for the record, the pizza was thin, cold, and tasteless.

 

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