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Archive | 12:02 am

Late Night Movie House of Crap: King of Kong Island

7 Feb

February 7, 2012

Not long ago in a recent New York Minute  I mistakenly called the island where King Kong was found Kong Island. The name was really Skull Island. It is an easy mistake to make, but one I shouldn’t have given how much I’ve written about King Kong in the past. And as you’d expect, I was called out on it. Thanks Mac.

But I was sure I heard that name somewhere and sure enough, there is a very cheesy film called King of Kong Island. With a title like that, you pretty much know what you are getting, right? Wrong. I’ll let these excerpts of reviews from Amazon.com do the explaining.  

2.0 out of 5 stars
Gorilla Brain Salad Surgery, May 27, 2004
By cookieman108 “cookieman108®” (Inside the jar…) – See all my reviews
This review is from:
Kong Island (DVD)
In the annals of movies dealing with ape/human relations, 1968 was a pivotal year as we (I say `we’ in a figurative sense as I wasn’t even born yet) saw the release of the seminal sci-fi film The Planet of the Apes. But wait, another film was released that same year, one that may not have gotten the attention or accolades of that certainly more popular ape movie, but still needs to be recognized, if only because I spent an hour and a half watching it last night. The movie I am speaking of is Kong Island, aka King of Kong Island, aka Eve, the Wild Woman…What?! You’ve never heard of it? Consider yourself lucky if that applies to you, as the cinematic hurting was deep in this one…very deep…

2.0 out of 5 stars
Derivative, Yet Tauntingly Boring, March 3, 2006
By Robert I. HedgesSee all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER) (TOP 500 REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)
This review is from:
Kong Island (DVD)
Every single word of the title of this film is perfectly accurate with the exceptions of “Kong” and “Island.” “Kong Island” is, in fact, quite a blundering misnomer. There are normal size zombie-gorillas with brain implants, but no Kong, and as far as I can tell no island either, as it takes place in Africa.

The plot is utterly wretched, and generally revolves around a mad scientist and his plans for world domination via the medium of zombie gorillas (no prizes for guessing how he dies), versus a muscle-bound bore of an actor who is helping search for “The Sacred Monkey” while on a personal vendetta. I am not going to reveal the amazing secret of the Sacred Monkey, but will say that it made me groan audibly when we got to that part of the film.

1.0 out of 5 stars
What King? What Kong? What Island?, January 22, 2006
By Lonnie E. Holder “The Review’s the Thing” (Columbus, Indiana, United States) – See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER) (VINE VOICE) (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)
This review is from:
Kong Island (DVD)

You might suspect that part of the reason a reviewer gives one star is the reviewer’s embarrassment that they spent money on a movie that turns out to be so dumb that, well, you fill in the blank. This movie was originally titled “Eve, the Wild Woman,” which makes far more sense than the title of the film itself. Some variations of this movie title it “King of Kong Island.” For an added bit of humor, the movie makes it clear that they are in Africa. I never figured out the island connection.

Lucky for us, this film has fallen into public domain so I present, in its entirety, King of Kong Island.

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