Archive | November, 2010

Grandpa, No!

17 Nov

November 17, 2010

I’ve been mining News of the Weird pretty hard lately. Why? It keeps me from writing about reality TV. Of course, “Noots” is always good for a laugh, and if I see an Asian Paul Teutul I’ll post the picture, but on the whole, I think Shakespeare said it best in Hamlet:

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

In other words, no matter what stupidity you see on TV, the real world can always beat it for shear ridiculousness. I wonder what The Bard would think of Jersey Shore?

So here is today’s news nugget. I warn you, this one is uncomfortable.

About 20 percent of Japan‘s adult-video market is now “elder porn” with each production featuring one or more studly seniors and Shigeo Tokuda, 76, among the most popular. He told Toronto‘s Globe and Mail in October that he still “performs” physically “without Viagra,” in at least one role a month opposite much younger women. His wife and adult daughter learned only two years ago, by accident, of his late-onset career (which began at age 60 when a filmmaker hired him for his “pervert’s face”). Tokuda figures the “elder porn” genre will grow with Japan‘s increasing senior population. [Globe and Mail, 10-3-10]

Sigh.

Take a  break, drink a glass of water, I’ll wait.

Anyway, here he is, in one of the only pictures I feel even remotely comfortable posting.

Don't lose that loincloth!

The article claims he was hired for his “pervert’s face.” In Japan that gets you a job in porn. In America that gets you on the sexual predator list.

This is just a small, albeit gross, example, of the problem with health care: there’s too much of it. It’s too good. People are healthier and living longer, and this is the result.

More uncomfortable information from wikipedia. which is nearing the five-hundredth correct entry mark:

Male actors are usually anonymous in Japanese porn but Tokuda is now featured in his own branded series of videos for Ruby with actresses of various ages. Another studio specializing in elder porn is Glory Quest which launched the “old manseries Maniac Training of Lolitas in December 2004 and when that became popular, had Tokuda star with a variety of young AV actresses in the Forbidden Elderly Care (Forbidden Nursing) series beginning in August 2006. An additional series Big Tits Loving Grandfather Erotic Mischief* for Glory Quest began in April 2008. Not all of Tokuda’s roles involve sex and he enjoys acting different roles. He has said he hopes to be able to continue working in adult videos until he is 80 (with a laugh).

*isn’t that title a bit long for this sort of thing?

If you’ve stuck around this long without clicking away to something that doesn’t make you feel skeevy, you may be wondering how his family feels about all of this.

The 5 foot 3 inch slightly paunchy former “salaryman” is married with two children and a grandson. He says his wife of 45 years suspects he plays some role in the porn industry but doesn’t ask any questions and he has kept his “star” status a secret.

How? He’s been in over 350 of those things. He must have a Clark Kent thing going on.

TOKUDA: (to himself) Oh no! It is almost time to film another porn!
(to wife) I’m going out for the paper and some milk.

                   (takes off his glasses, takes out his loincloth.)
WIFE: OK, enjoy your walk.
(pause)
WIFE: How come I never see Tokuda and Big Tits Loving Grandfather in the same place? Oh well, time to fire up the DVD player.

Japan is a country of 127,360,000people. They have a life expectancy rate of 81.25 years and about 20% of the population is over 65 years old. This was bound to happen.

Let’s Play “What’s Wrong with this Business Model?”

16 Nov

November 16, 2010

Let’s Play “What’s Wrong with this Business Model?”

It continued:

“How dare you? How dare you! You’ve got a lot of nerve, coming in here and buying a dozen baguettes. And that dinner last week? Screw you! Who do you think you are, spending money in here like that?

Obviously, our closing is the consumer’s fault. You decided that you didn’t want to spend money in Don Otto’s. Who are you to make a decision about your money like that? We’re Don Otto’s, be-atches! This store deserves a better class of customer. Fuck you, South End!”

Shit. Now where am I going to get my $8 carton of eggs? ShopRite only sells the $2.19 carton of eggs. I suppose I could go to Balducci’s, but they only charge $3.09. Even the organic eggs don’t break the $4 mark. I guess I can go into the Village and get some free range organic vegetarian eggs from local farms, but even factoring the gas to get there I am only paying around $5. Maybe I can convince them to sell me only a 1/2 dozen eggs at the full dozen price and make it up on percentage? I really need those $8 eggs.

Of course, the real problem is that I just didn’t “understand that my purchases make a difference, and that by buying something that wasn’t exactly what I want, it gets me closer to what I want. It’s an investment.”

Today I went shopping. I wanted a pair of pants but I bought a skirt instead. When the store does a little better I’ll get those pants.  I needed a new comforter but all I saw were scratchy horse blankets. Sure, I could have gone next door to Sears, but like Don Otto’s, Petco needs loyal customers too. So instead of sleeping under a comfortable $20 Sears comforter, I sleep under a rough $55 horse blanket. It isn’t exactly what I wanted, but I see it as an investment.

I hope my dermatologist can help with all the abrasions I seem to have gotten lately.