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What Is Wrong With My Writing?

13 Nov

from October 3, 2007

What is wrong with my writing lately? You’d know better than me, you actually read this stuff. Honestly, I type this with my eyes closed.

I refer specifically to the Marcel Marceau eulogy. It is one of  my shortest blogs, possibly the shortest, if you ignore that old “poetry ” blog. Go back and reread it if you care to. (The Marceau thing, not the “poetry.” Let’s give that one a quick death.)

Now, I really like that one a lot, and I don’t say that about much of my stuff. But I noticed something. First of all, and bear this in mind, there is nothing easier to make fun of than a dead mime. It is a comedy maxim! Look it up.

But my issue here is that I wrote the whole blog and avoided the dreaded “F-word.” I wrote the whole thing and never once mentioned the word “French.”

I don’t get it- I am all about the easy joke, and if a dead mime is easy to make fun of, imagine all the dead French mime jokes just waiting to be hatched. The mind boggles! It is even easier to rag on the French than blaming the “Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.” (Snicker snicker snort! I can’t even type that with a straight face! How does Hilary do it? I guess she got her poker face from putting up with all of Bill’s blue dress stains.)

My typical blog is something like this- “blah blah blah Bela Lugosi is an under-rated actor blah blah blah something about parenthesis period arrow.” But I didn’t go there that time. Why not?

Now look at the more recent “Space blog.” Damn if I didn’t take the easy route there. Tom Cruise and Scientology. I didn’t even have to make up any jokes- that fruity little club manages to insult itself. And Tom Cruise is a punch line in no need of a joke.

So again- what is wrong with my writing?

Here is some info for you:

THINGS I AM READING OR HAVE RECENTLY READ:

The Monk, and The Castle of Otranto, two 18th Century Gothic novels.

The Late Great USA by Jerome Corsi- current events and politics.

The Five Red Herrings, a mystery from 1937 by Dorothy L. Sawyer.

THINGS I WRITE ABOUT:

Godzilla

So clearly there is a disconnect here, a Diaspora, if you will.

(LOOK THAT WORD UP! THAT WAS A HELL OF A REFERENCE I JUST MADE!)

I live in the disconnect.

What do I need to do?

I need to ensure that I write about more trivia, nonsense, and obscure crap only funny to me.

I need to never ever miss a chance for a French joke.

And I need an editor, that’s for sure.

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