from July 22, 2006
Time to wrap up Chicago, and I’m sorry that this will be a rather sad topic. Like New York or any big city, Chicago suffers from the typical urban problems. Pollution, overcrowding, and inflation are all issues that the citizens of Chicago deal with on a daily basis. However, what I’m going to write about is the homeless problem.
Living in New York, we see the homeless all around us- the subway, the corners, alleys, even right on the streets of the most expensive parts of Manhattan. Men, women, children, even babies without any food or shelter can be found looking for some help, anything, to keep them going even one more day. How many of us have seen the people on the trains, asking for some spare change while playing a guitar with two strings? How many of us have driven by the people on street corners who try to wash your windshield with a filthy rag? And who hasnt seen the children who will dance for change? It’s heartbreaking.
And that is the biggest difference between the New York Homeless and the Chicago Homeless. The Chicago homeless just don’t work for it. I don’t mean jobs- if they had jobs then they wouldn’t be homeless. I mean they don’t work for IT- your change. I must have walked up and down the Magnificent Mile a dozen times, past Nordstroms and Eddie Bauer and the Virgin Mega-Store and not once did I see a homeless person do so much as smile. Jeez, there must have been about 4 of them per block, each one with the same sad, hungry look and beat-up cardboard sign asking for spare change for food. Nobody stood up and did a little dance. Not one of them even tried to bang on a can and pretend it was a drum. No homeless there stood up and offered to shine my shoes or even make a small speech about how they were abused or thrown out of their homes. They just sat on their little piece of dirty cardboard and expected us to give.
Hasn’t anyone told them that we live in a country where you have to earn your money? OK, so it’s hard for a guy who stinks like a swamp and dresses in rags to get a job, and who would hire a woman with two teeth and what appears to be a huge goiter on top of her head anyway? Does that mean that I just have to ante up some quarters? Hell no. Earn it! Sing a song, dance, or even shuffle- its the effort that counts! Stand up and ask for some food, apologize for bothering me, make me like you and want to help you. At least pretend to be a veteran- people always feel sorry for homeless vets. Just dont sit there and act pathetic. Have some dignity!
This is why Chicago will always be known as the Second City. Until the homeless start putting in the effort it takes to be homeless, then they are doomed to stay homeless. At least here in NYC the homeless know they need to work it a little. Some of the New York homeless even have shopping carts- I didn’t see one cart in Chicago.
The Chicago Homeless did have one huge advantage over the New York Homeless- they were easily ignored. They were quiet and stayed out of my face. Good for them!
I have to go now- I’m on my way out to steal candy from a baby.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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