Tag Archives: Superman

Superman, The Man of Shill

5 May

May 5, 2011

This week marks the anniversary of the day in 1938 that Superman Debuted in Action Comics #1.

In honor of the event I am going to showcase a few of the more obscure products which have been endorsed by Superman.

KRYPTONITE ROCKS

It’s Terrific!
It’s Fantastic!
It’s a Rock!

These are rocks painted green with glow-in-the-dark paint, $2.50 per rock, $1 shipping and handling. So what is the theory here? Why is Superman ripping off kids- er, selling Kryptonite? Superman is selling them to his friends- The Parasite better not send in $3.50- so they can take possession of the irradiated chunks of the planet Krypton and keep them safe, in lead boxes, so Superman can never come in contact with them. Ah. My God, this is easily one of the worst rip off’s I have ever seen. Selling rocks to kids. Anyone who bought these should go to the DC offices and hurl them back through the windows.

SUPERMAN PEANUT BUTTER and PEANUTS

Superman is the hero and protector of all humanity, except the approximately 0.6% of the population with severe peanut allergies and can die from anaphylaxis if they inhale even a tiny amount of peanut dust. I hope he changes Super-suits after he leaves the peanut factory or he may end up killing the very baby he rescues from Brainiac.

Check out this ad for Superman peanut butter. Superman is willing to protect the secret of its great taste with his life! I don’t blame him. Once Lex Luthor gets the secret of great taste, he can corner the peanut butter market, and how far behind can grape jelly be?

SUPERMAN CINEMATIC PICTURE PISTOL

There is a short filmstrip in the gun. You look through the hole in the back of the gun and see a frame of a filmstrip. Pulling the trigger advances the film.

This is easily, hands down, the most irresponsible toy I have ever seen. Yes, I get that this is from another era, that kids were routinely given toy guns and even real guns to play with. I get all of that. But whose idea was it to put a movie inside a gun? To teach young kids to put a gun to their heads and pull the trigger?

A movie in a gun? Thanks, Superman.

SPECIALMAN

OK, it’s a Japanese rip-off but out of all the stuff on this page, this is probably the most fun. But given the amount of lead probably used in the paint, it is likely also the most dangerous.

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Late Night Movie House of Crap: Superhero Serials

2 May

May 2, 2011

Let me first say that I don’t consider any of this crap. However they are old and in black and white and that’s enough for a lot of people. The special effects may not match today’s cgi magic but a lot of it stands up very well.

End of disclaimer.

This is going to be a big superhero movie summer. Thor, Captain America, and Green Lantern are all hitting the big screen. Comic book movies do well at the box office so it is no surprise that there are more installments of Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, and Iron Man movies in the works, as well as Justice League and Avengers films in the wings.

A lot of people don’t realize how far back these films really go. for many people they go all the way back to the long-gone era of 1978 and Superman the Movie. They should go back quite a bit farther.

Serials were weekly installments of a story that usually ran from 12 to 16 weeks. If you went to the movies from the late 1930’s to early 1950’s for the Saturday matinée you’d likely see one or two serials, a newsreel, some cartoons, a B-movie, and the main feature. A few cents for a ticket kept you entertained most of the day.  Serials also tended to have great lobby cards and I have a few (reproductions, alas) in my collection. But on to the superheroes!

From 1948, here’s Kirk Alyn as Superman:

This isn’t Captain America’s first time on-screen either. From 1944, here’s Dick Purcell:

Think Batman begins with Adam West? Both Superman and Batman had two serials apiece. From 1949 here’s Batman and Robin:

Superman is the world’s most popular hero? Not always. Captain Marvel regularly outsold him and in fact Captain Marvel still holds the record for sales in the millions.

Cool as all of that is, here is the icing on the cake. This is a fan made trailer for what they call a “premake,” a “what if the Avengers film was made decades ago?” You can find a lot of these “premakes,” like Star Wars and Ghostbusters on Youtube. In the spirit of the superhero serials, here is the premake of the Avengers.

Take some time and watch the old stuff. There is some magic there. Some cheese too, but that is part of the magic.

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