Tag Archives: star trek

Imponderable: Toledo Oregon (Classic Repost)

6 Apr

April 6, 2012

This was the first Imponderable and it is still one of my favorites.

From June 23, 2011

Foreign Accent Syndrome is a real though hilarious malady. Simply put, some people with head injuries hurt a certain region of the brain that controls speech, leading to strange new speech patterns that sound like foreign accents. This must have been one awful root canal.

Yeah, I didn’t believe it either, but I looked it up and it is real. It doesn’t happen often, but it is documented. So in theory, someone from Nebraska can hit his head and wind up speaking like Patrick Stewart. The flip side is true too. Patrick Stewart could go in for a routine cavity fill and come out talking like Larry the Cable Guy.

Oh, how I wish that would happen. That’s hysterical. Sit back and think about it for a while. “Mr. La Forge, the warp engines have developed a negative feedback and the ventral stabilizer needs repair. Report to engineering and GIT-R-DONE!!!”

Star Trek: TNG really needed a few more rednecks, that’s for sure.

But to get back on track, reading the article brings up an imponderable question about British dentistry. The people of England are well-known for poor dentistry and bad teeth. So I submit to you this question about the British accent: is the British accent simply a matter of bad teeth? Could it simply be that the British accent is not a natural development but came about due to lousy dentists? Maybe there is no British accent, simply a neural reaction caused by head trauma.

Consider that Colonial Americans, upon leaving England and developing their own nation and dental system, within a few short generations lost the British accent.

It is a real chicken or the egg type of question. Which came first- the British accent or the bad teeth?

The question is Imponderable.

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Why, Science, Why?

26 Jan

January 26, 2011

To a new world of gods and monsters! – Bride of Frankenstein

Home? I have no home. Hunted, despised, Living like an animal! The jungle is my home. But I will show the world that I can be its master! I will perfect my own race of people. A race of atomic supermen which will conquer the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! – Bride of the Monster

OK, one puts it a little more eloquently than the other but they make the same point.

Humanity has a long history of tampering with nature and playing God in the name of science, and it never ends well. Even my favorite novel, Flowers for Algernon, ends heartbreakingly sadly.

Beware, because life imitates art.

That’s real. That fathead ant is real. And that’s what science is working on RIGHT NOW!

Have we learned nothing from Star Trek II? Remember the Genesis device?

McCoy: Dear Lord. You think we’re intelligent enough to… suppose… what if this thing were used where life already exists
Spock: It would destroy such life in favor of its new matrix.
McCoy: Its “new matrix”? Do you have any idea what you’re saying?
Spock: I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications, Doctor. As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.
McCoy: Not anymore; now we can do both at the same time! According to myth, the Earth was created in six days. Now, watch out! Here comes Genesis! We’ll do it for you in six minutes!
Spock: Really, Dr. McCoy. You must learn to govern your passions; they will be your undoing. Logic suggests…
McCoy: Logic? My God, the man’s talking about logic; we’re talking about universal Armageddon! You green-blooded, inhuman…

And now supersoldier ants. The big-headed Captain Americas of the ant world!

How long until someone starts splicing these genes into people?

What kind of life do you think this guy has? He’ll never end up with that girl.

There is more than a fine line between “we can do something” and “we should do something.” Seriously, we can make huge-headed ants. OK, what for? Other than research there is no reason to do it. And I am not anti-research, far from it, but you know that while the scientists may start out with noble intentions like curing cancer, this will soon turn into “what if we inject super-ant hormone into army recruits when they get inoculated for TB?” Don’t laugh; America has done crap like that before.

Caribbean crazy ants  are bad enough. Now imagine them the size of Michael Vick and capable of driving cross-country to your town.

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