Tag Archives: Late Night Movie House of Crap

Late Night Movie House of Crap: Zardoz

4 Aug

August 4, 2011

I have never seen this movie. I became interested when I saw it listed on Fox Movie Channel. Here is the description I got from my TiVo:

An exterminator of Brutals lands in the Vortex and mates with an Eternal in the year 2293

Right.

As my brother put it, that description didn’t bring enough to the table.

Here is what IMDB has to say:

In the far future, a savage trained only to kill finds a way into the community of bored immortals that alone preserves humanity’s achievements.

That’s a bit better but still doesn’t do it for me. Let’s see the plot summary.

In the distant future Earth is divided into two camps, the barely civilized group and the overly civilized one with mental powers. A plague is attacking the second group, after which its members cease to have any interest in life and become nearly catatonic. When Zed, one of the barbarians, crosses over, the tenuous balance in their world is threatened.

It is starting to sound like MST3K material to me but this is no way to judge a movie. Let’s see the trailer.

Oh wow.

The takeaway from that trailer? James Bond in a red diaper.

But I love those credits. LOVE them! They remind me of an old video game, and I am not the only one.

 And James Bond in a red diaper?

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Late Night Movie House of Crap: Lord Love A Duck

25 May

May 25, 2011

Have you ever seen this film? It is apparently a cult film, which is odd since I have not seen it.

I don’t know what impression that made on you, but it seems to me that if Aldous Huxley and Douglas Adams teamed up to write a beach movie and let Russ Meyer direct it you might get something close to Lord Love A Duck.

With that in mind, here is the plot description from wikipedia:

From his prison cell, Alan Musgrave dictates his experiences of the previous year, which he dedicated to fulfilling the unending wishes and ambitions of high school senior Barbara Ann Greene. The daughter of Marie, a cocktail waitress sinking unhappily into her forties, Barbara wants every kind of success and for everyone to love her. Signing a pact with Alan in wet cement, Barbara soon has the 12 cashmere sweaters needed to join an exclusive girl’s club. She drops out of school to become the principal’s new secretary and gets involved in church activities run by strait-laced but hyper-hormonal Bob Bernard. Barbara decides she wants Bob for her husband, which Alan helps make possible by keeping Bob’s eccentric mother Stella (who disapproves of Barbara Ann) perpetually plastered. Then Barbara meets schlock producer T. Harrison Belmont, the King of Beach Party movies, and decides to become the biggest star that ever was. But Bob refuses to allow his wife to have a Hollywood screen test, so Barbara Ann decides she wants a divorce. Since Bob’s mother frowns upon divorce, this prompts Alan to take matters into his own hands and kill Bob. Bob proves almost indestructible, but by graduation time Alan has him in a wheelchair. At the graduation ceremony Alan pursues Bob with a tractor, humorously killing him and everyone else on the speakers’ platform who all screamed in mid-air after being flipped by the tractor before their deaths. Barbara Ann goes on to Hollywood fame in her debut film “Bikini Widow”, while Alan is sent to prison.

I can sum it up much more succinctly: “What the-?”

For anyone like me who must see it, it is on YouTube in 11 parts.

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