Tag Archives: fun with teh internets

SSSSSSmokin’!

12 Nov

November 12, 2012

SMOKIN!

Mr. B has been on his on-again, off-again bad toy kick. Which got me thinking about the BEST toy.  No, not Lincoln Logs. Not an Erector Set. Play D’Oh? NO! The best toy evah is…….

SMOKING POPEYE:                       

Yes, it’s as cool as it sounds! A Popeye that…..smokes. Fun for the family! But it really was a gentler time, when kids could actually have a toy like this. You could NEVER get this toy to market today. And it signals a sea change in the country, because there was a time when 9 out of 10 doctors endorsed smoking, and it was considered very glamorous thing to do: 

Mr. BTR has no clue who this actress is.

Hubba hubba!

But while us humans are slowly moving beyond smoking, there’s still one segment of the planet that is embracing smoking with a passion:

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS! TODAY’S SEARCH: SMOKING ANIMALS

1)

More fun that a barrel full of smoking monkeys! Monkeys are the most intelligent animal in the kingdom aside from us, so it figures that they’ve been smoking for quite a while now. There’s also unconfirmed reports that rhesus monkeys have started playing Barry White music before they…..uh, get busy with their monkey significant others.  Smart indeed.

2) 

Now this is a very civilized goat. You can’t see it behind the fence, but he’s wearing a natty jacket with patches on the sleeves. Unfortunately, he’s smoking rum and maple blend (UGH)

3) 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Isn’t that just the kewtest widdle thing! If that little one needed a light from me, I’d flick my bic! We all know how much Mr. B WUVS kittehs!!!!

Speaking  of cute cats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kYNId_Kvbo (The White Shadow one is my favorite!)

4)

This is NOT Pierre D. Duck, the World’s Greatest Duck, who is very anti-smoking and will quack at you if you smoke. You can find the link to his Facebook page in the sidebar.

The AFLAC duck celebrates after closing on the Glengarry leads…..

5)

Now that’s one bitch that knows how to party! (See what I did there?)

6)

Um…..what? This one doesn’t make any sense, but it’s so wonderful that I don’t care! This gives me hope that I can fulfill my dream of one day seeing a dolphin take a bong hit. For now, the closest I can come to that magical day is this:

 

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Mr. K. Allen presents: Fun With THE Internet

5 Nov

November 5, 2012

Fun With THE Internet
By: K. Allen

As some of you may or may not know, “Mr. Blog” has been having trouble with a malcontent by the name of Allen Keyes.  It seems that Mr. Keyes is following the hockey players lead and agitating for a bigger cut of the Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride revenue stream, and “Mr. Blog” is following the hockey owners lead by locking the dirty bum out. So in an effort to force Keyes to come to the table, “Mr. Blog” has hired me to show just how easily replaceable Keyes really is. For my part, I seriously doubt that “Mr. Blog” has any revenue stream. I have read his blog and frankly I wonder how it has survived this long.

So this week, in an effort to show Allen Keyes how it is done, and to simultaneously bring some measure of respectability to Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, I present to you:

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS  THE INTERNET. – I don’t know where Keyes went to school, but it’s not TEH, it’s THE. And internets? What’s with the plural? There’s only ONE internet. Fun with THE INTERNET.  I’ve been wanting to correct that for years.

Anyway, so what does this Keyes guy do around here besides make the maintenance staff feel uncomfortable? (You would not believe the stories Lupe has shared with me. She has not yet stopped crying – Mr. BTR.) Oh yes, he makes funny captions for random pictures with his “internets” witticisms. Ok, I can do that:

TODAY’S SEARCH: BLUE SHIRT   Oooh, look at him! He’s blue shirt wearing guy. I bet he looked really hard just to find a shade of blue that nice!  LOL (laugh out loud).  And it even matches his eyes! HILARIOUS!  I suspect he is a banker.

 

HAHA! (Laughing) This gentleman is wearing a tie! I totally like that tie with that shirt! 🙂  (SMILEY FACE)  I wonder where he purchased that tie! *SNORT* (Snort)

 

“Tee hee! I bet this guy’s employers respect him! NSFW (Not Safe for Work). I bet his girlfriend enjoys that he’s well dressed! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOLZQTFW (????)”

See how easy that is? Oh, hey I almost forgot, no Allen Keyes column would be complete without the cheap and easy laugh of a bad fat guy Photoshop:

Look! It’s hilarious! The Fat Guy is chowing down on a hammer! WOW! GET IT? See, he’ll eat anything! And see how crudely done the Photoshop is? A trained monkey or a talented 5-year old could do this!

Let’s see, have I hit all the various Allan Keyes standbys? Burt Reynolds, Wrestling, Mr. T, Nursing Home Fire, Laser Death Car, Video Games, Cosplay, Fantasy Baseball. I think that should just about cover it.

Now here, let’s finish it up by avoiding having an abrupt awkward ending to this post by throwing in some random unrelated internet pictures and a relevant Simpson’s reference!

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