Tag Archives: Fat Guy

Allan Keyes: Fail Counterfeits!

29 Apr

April 29, 2013

keyes1.jpg

I was just wandering around the web the other day, and I was looking at old Mad Magazine archives – you know, back when Mad was actually funny and a legit part of the counter culture, as opposed to what it is now, a straight establishment hack factory that deserves to be put out of its’ misery. Dave Berg (“The Lighter Side”) and Mort Drucker were giants without compare.  Remember 43 Man Squamish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/43-Man_Squamish  and Three Cornered Pitney? Yeah. Good times. Once Melvin and Jenkins debuted it was all downhill – but that’s a rant for another day. And believe me, rant I will. Anyway, while checking this stuff out, I came across this from the old Mad board game (which I used to have and am bidding on furiously on Ebay for a set now):

                         d1

Well, one thing led to another and I found myself looking at some sad examples of funny money. Laugh along with me at some of these sad counterfeits!

THE LAZY:

 d2

This one is just lazy. I mean common, did anyone REALLY expect this piece of idiocy to actually pass???  I’d actually give more respect to someone who just Xeroxed a dollar bill and tried to pass it to a colorblind guy. Heck, I’d actually respect this one better, at least they tried.

 d3

 

THE ODD:

 d4

These were actually passed at some Target stores in the Midwest. That the cashiers either didn’t know or care better, makes me weep.  I personally think they believed the bills were legit. But common! I mean NINE Dollars? What a fricking idiot number.  Hey, if you’re going to plaster this guy on a bill, I’d think this one was better:

 d5

But that’s just me. For those of you with a different worldview, here’s an equally stupid one with another President:

 d6

Not sure why $200 dollars, but hey, there you go.

Actually, given the direction of things nowadays, this one is most appropriate:

 d7

 

NOT COUNTERFEIT BUT AWESOME:

 d8

I think KISS actually sucks donkey dong (But Mr. Keyes, why don’t you tell us what you really think!) but I applaud the creativity for this one.

This one made me LOL:

 d9

I actually altered a bill to base off some the characters from Call of Duty, but that attracted “attention” from the ATF.

 And to finish things off, here’s my attempt, as bad as you’d expect:

 rrr

Obviously acceptable in all the finest burger joints across the land.

 

Is This Man Racist Or Just Illiterate? (Archive a1)

8 Apr

April 8, 2013

milk 2Allan Keyes has the week off. He’s out-of-town, yelling at puppies or scowling at sunsets. Meanwhile, I’m going to kick off a week of bmj2k Antiquities, things that I collected from the pre-Mr. Blog 1990’s. They are yellowed and old, all clipped out of New York newspapers. But despite their age, they show that one thing is true: Donald Trump is always a good target for mockery. He’ll be coming up later in the week.

antiquities header

This one dates back to 1992, when David Duke was running for President. In this archive photo, we see one of Duke’s supporters holding up sign. Is it a campaign sign? I’m not sure.

Racist or Illiterate

The caption reads “Dejected Dukedom: Billy Majors of Port Allen, La, hoists his bigoted message ar loser’s post-election bash in Baton Rouge Saturday.”

Now don’t get me wrong- David Duke was an out-and-out racist. He was Grand Poobah of the KKK and if that isn’t enough proof for you, ask him yourself. He’ll tell you exactly why he’s a racist. Does that mean that Billy Majors, David Duke supporter, is a racists? I am sure that it logically follows, but logic has little to do with David Duke so yeah, calling this guy a racist is not much of a stretch. But is he really? While there may be no empirical proof of his racism, we have plenty of proof of his stupidity: his sign.

I voted for “D” wite man not “D” wong man

Huh? Does he mean he voted for the “white” man? So what would “wong” man mean? I think the easy answer is that it means “wrong” man. So he voted for the white man, not the wrong man?

What if instead of “white” he meant “right”? That would man his sign “I voted for the right man not the wrong man.” Makes a little more sense.

If his opponent was named Wong it would be really nice.

Of course, he really could mean “I voted for the white man, not the wong man,” which may or may not be his try at a pun or a rhyme of some sort.

So is this guy racist? Maybe. Is he illiterate? Very likely.
But the odds are this guy is both.