Tag Archives: CrankyApe

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Offer Denied

16 May

May 16, 2011

I usually start with the bikes but I want to begin with the lawsuit first because I am not sure that most people tune in for the bikes anymore.

You may recall that last week Paul Senior decided that since the judge ruled that Paulie was under no legal obligation to sell his share of OCC, it would be a good time to reconcile and, not too coincidentally, make an offer to buy back the stock. Subtle he is not. Nor too swift.

Sr. made Paulie an offer, Paulie counter-offered, and neither offer was accepted. Simple? No, because lawyers are involved. Paulie says that Senior’s side made the offer and then took it off the table the next day. What these two need to do is get rid of the lawyers, sit down together and hammer out a deal, then let the lawyers vet it and OK it. The problem (or one of the problems) is that Senior has mixed up in his head the resolution of the lawsuit with reconciliation with his sons and they are totally separate issues. It doesn’t help that his lawyer is also giving him advice on how to get back together with Paulie. One thing we’ve seen over the past two weeks is that lawyers can spin anything any way they want. You got your tax refund? Too bad. Firemen rescue your grandmother from an inferno? That’s a shame. Judge ruled in favor of Paulie? “Neither side won or lost.”

The truth is these two can’t be in the same room. During the filming of the current American Chopper commercial- the one where they are facing each other on bikes- they were never in the same room at the same time. Paulie filmed his part, and then Sr. came in and filmed his. Sr. thought that Paulie was avoiding him, which may be true, but he is also avoiding Paulie.

Sr. got a chance to see the Anti-Venom bike up close. He said it was nice but that it was like what OCC was making ten years ago, which may be true, but he said that it had no technology and pointed to one of the Trams Am bikes and said that PJD couldn’t make anything like it.

Technology? Really? Senior added a Trans Am tachometer to his bike. A nice touch, sure, but hardly cutting edge. And considering that the average OCC bike doesn’t have tail lights he really shouldn’t talk. Interestingly, he opened the door to a competition, which is what the promos have alluded to all season.

Gus died this week which is odd since last season when Gus had a leg amputated the news broke on the show that he died. So I guess that reports of his death were premature.

When discussing it, Sr. broke down on camera and had tears streaming down his face. It was the most human he has seemed since the show began. He said that he loved Gus because “he was always there.” That is interesting since he has talked about how he was not always there in his son’s lives and also how he pushed his sons away so they were not always there.

Gus’ death moved both Paulie and Vinnie and in the show’s emotional climax, Paulie called Sr. He didn’t text or send an email, which meant something to Sr., and told Sr. how sorry he was, offered some comfort, and ended with “I love you.” Senior seemed touched and cried again, but how much his tears were really for Gus I can’t say.

OCC made three bikes based on a trio of classic Trans Am autos and next to the cars they looked great. The build went smoothly with the exception of Senior and Phil dropping a bike off the jack. Luckily there was no damage, either to the bike or Senior’s head, which was not far from the falling heavy cycle.

PJD was still working on the pair of CrankyApe bikes and we got a few words of bike-building wisdom from Paulie: “You can’t have a bike if you don’t have a motor.” Paulie was in a deadline crunch because they are unveiling the bike in Daytona Beach and Paulie has no one to blame but himself. He miscalculated and ordered the motor too late. Luckily it came in time.

Nub did his usual great job on the paint, a mix of matte and gloss that he had never done for either OCC or PJD. As usual, he seemed a little bemused by Paulie. He realizes that though Paulie is a good designer he runs the shop a little too casually and was always “freaking out.” He did point out though that the stress didn’t carry over to the others. “Unlike OCC there is no stress here, no drama. It is a better vibe.” The bike also featured barbed wire wheel spokes that looked really nice.

Of course, it is hard to avoid stress when Mikey is running around in a gorilla suit. Yes, you read that right. Mikey showed up in a gorilla suit led by his legally blind assistant. With Mikey unable to see well in the mask it was literally a case of the blind leading the blind. Paulie ordered him to stay far away and keep his banana-throwing from the freshly painted tins.

The other bike was the one they bought on auction and rebuilt. It had everything new except the frame and motor. True, those are the most important parts of the bike, but what kind of ad is it for CrankyApe when the bike was totally rebuilt? Buy one of their bikes and spend a lot of money to fix it up? It is especially odd since they were very impressed with the bike as it was bought.

At any rate, they were still working on the bike when the trailer arrived and it wouldn’t start. They had to have a new starter delivered to Florida and fixed it there right before the unveil. It went fine, despite the handicap of Mikey in his gorilla suit emceeing.

Next week the OCC crew travels to Alaska to ruin another show, Deadliest Catch, and to get inspiration as they make a Deadliest Catch bike. Will Senior get into it with Sig? Will the Hillstrands shove Jason Pohl in a pot and sink him to the bottom of the Bering? Tune in and find out.

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Judgement Day

9 May

May 9, 2011

Shortly before the show began I saw, on another channel, a new Dr. Pepper commercial with Paul Sr. as the head of a motorcycle gang. He threatened to beat up a poor schlub who could only tell him that “Dr. Pepper tastes like Dr. Pepper,” which I guess is their new catchphrase. If  I were the guy, after Senior threatened to hit me I’d tell him “touch me and I’ll own your valueless company,” which is appropriate because that valueless company is a main focus of this week’s episode.

The bikes this week are easy to describe because none of them were finished yet when the episode ended. You may consider that a drawback, but on the other hand there was no Jason Pohl so it was an overall win.

OCC was hired by Trans Am Depot to make three bikes, each based on a classic Trans Am. TLC seemed to be using this show as a tryout for a Rick Petko spin-off, “Rick Petko Explains It All” since Rick explained everything about the bikes this week. He probably got more airtime than anyone over at OCC this week, and that’s a good thing because he has more credibility and professionalism than anyone else in that shop. And while I am kidding about the possible spin-off, I could see TLC hiring him to host some kind of mechanical show.

PJD was hired by CrankyApe.com to build a pair of bikes. One would be a custom job and another would be one they bought from the CrankyApe website, refurbished, and will be sold on auction. CrankyApe is an online auction site that sells used, refurbished, or bank seized bikes. The second bike would be an example of what you can do with their bikes. Paulie brought in Cody to work on it. Once again, Cody showed himself to be more professional than most of the older guys on that show. CrankyApe went tp PJD because they once had a bad experience with OCC. About five years ago they called them up and “didn’t get the time of day” from them. Paulie, however, called them right back. Score one for Junior.

It isn’t all easy for PJD. Once again, Brendon was a little dissatisfied with the way things were done there.
Brendon: “No drawings again?”
Paulie: “Who’s gonna draw them?”
Brendon: “You.”
Is it any surprise that Vinnie says there is a lack of direction at PJD? “Daily as we go we figure out what we want to do.” He is too much of a professional to say it but he clearly doesn’t like working that way.

Another thing Vinnie doesn’t like is Paul Senior. Though you almost never hear it mentioned, the people on reality shows do go home and watch their shows at night. Vinnie came in and was really disgusted with an episode from last season. You may recall that a group of kids visited first OCC and them PJD and Sr. gave one of them a picture to bring to Paulie. Vinnie was just sick of how Senior never missed a chance to bad mouth Paulie to any passing stranger. I’m curious if Paul Sr. watches the show and what he thinks of himself. Would he complain that they edit out all of his reasonableness? It just reminds me of Bin Laden sitting in his bedroom watching himself on TV.

Senior and his wife went to Mikey’s gallery of awful art on a day Mikey wasn’t there to see the art. Mixed in with the finger paintings and pictures of the GEICO gecko, Mikey had a few pictures based on his relationship with his father. One of them was a crying man with the title “Remember When Daddy Loved Us?’ Another was a picture of a frowny face with the title “Sad Dad.” Actually, the frown may have been Sr.’s moustache, it had the same droop. “I don’t necessarily get some of his art,” Senior said. He’s no prize either. When ordering as part he needs immediately, Senior got confused between the A.S. and the A.P.

Upon hearing about his father’s visit, Mikey ran right to Paulie so Paulie could tell him what to think. For all of Mikey’s BS about reconciling with his father, after Senior went out of his way to see his art Mikey still won’t talk to him. He is weak-minded and doesn’t know what he wants. I think that somewhere he’s afraid that getting back with his father will make Paulie mad at him. Mikey has hitched his wagon to Paulie for better or worse.

Mikey, BTW, is huge. Whatever weight he lost awhile back has returned with a few more pounds besides. This week he was wearing an artsy scarf, a sport coat, and shorts. He is also doing his epic beard man impression by not trimming his wild growth.

The big news is the decision in the OCC/Paulie lawsuit. The court unanimously decided 4-0 in Paulie’s favor. This means that Paulie is in no way obligated to sell his 20% of OCC, so if Senior wants to buy it he has to make Paulie a real offer based on something besides his phony $0 valuation of OCC.

Sounds simple, right? Well not if you are a lawyer. Senior’s lawyer spun it so that “the case has not been won or lost either by us or by them.” Right. Senior was trying to force Paulie to give him his share of OCC for nothing. Now that won’t happen. Paulie wins. And of course, Senior entirely blames Paulie for the lawsuit by not selling him the shares in the first place. The whole point of Paulie wining the suit is that Paulie never had to do that. Senior was always in the wrong!

Totally coincidentally, I am sure, Senior decided that it was time to make up with his sons. So who did he talk to? His lawyer. That’s the problem right there. Somehow, the reconciliation and getting his shares from Paulie have become intertwined in Senior’s mind.

Those of you might recall that the commercials that aired before the season began said the build-off is coming, and the current commercials say that the only way to settle things is the way they began, with the build. So far, we have no idea what they are talking about.