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SSSSSSmokin’!

12 Nov

November 12, 2012

SMOKIN!

Mr. B has been on his on-again, off-again bad toy kick. Which got me thinking about the BEST toy.  No, not Lincoln Logs. Not an Erector Set. Play D’Oh? NO! The best toy evah is…….

SMOKING POPEYE:                       

Yes, it’s as cool as it sounds! A Popeye that…..smokes. Fun for the family! But it really was a gentler time, when kids could actually have a toy like this. You could NEVER get this toy to market today. And it signals a sea change in the country, because there was a time when 9 out of 10 doctors endorsed smoking, and it was considered very glamorous thing to do: 

Mr. BTR has no clue who this actress is.

Hubba hubba!

But while us humans are slowly moving beyond smoking, there’s still one segment of the planet that is embracing smoking with a passion:

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS! TODAY’S SEARCH: SMOKING ANIMALS

1)

More fun that a barrel full of smoking monkeys! Monkeys are the most intelligent animal in the kingdom aside from us, so it figures that they’ve been smoking for quite a while now. There’s also unconfirmed reports that rhesus monkeys have started playing Barry White music before they…..uh, get busy with their monkey significant others.  Smart indeed.

2) 

Now this is a very civilized goat. You can’t see it behind the fence, but he’s wearing a natty jacket with patches on the sleeves. Unfortunately, he’s smoking rum and maple blend (UGH)

3) 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Isn’t that just the kewtest widdle thing! If that little one needed a light from me, I’d flick my bic! We all know how much Mr. B WUVS kittehs!!!!

Speaking  of cute cats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kYNId_Kvbo (The White Shadow one is my favorite!)

4)

This is NOT Pierre D. Duck, the World’s Greatest Duck, who is very anti-smoking and will quack at you if you smoke. You can find the link to his Facebook page in the sidebar.

The AFLAC duck celebrates after closing on the Glengarry leads…..

5)

Now that’s one bitch that knows how to party! (See what I did there?)

6)

Um…..what? This one doesn’t make any sense, but it’s so wonderful that I don’t care! This gives me hope that I can fulfill my dream of one day seeing a dolphin take a bong hit. For now, the closest I can come to that magical day is this:

 

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The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: Fully Jointed Action Kojak

10 Nov

November 10, 2012

This week The Editor’s and Staff present a new rotating Saturday feature, The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys. This does not mean that Saturday Comics is gone, it just needs a breather. Don’t worry, it will be back.

“Who loves ya, baby?” No, that’s not Mr. Blog hitting on someone at closing time, that’s the famous catch phrase of 1970’s New York’s #1 cop, Kojak:

For some reason they replaced that iconic opening with… this… generic… thing…

If you stop that last clip at the 25 second mark you see Kojak making the scene at my part of town, the Coney Island boardwalk.

Kojak was an insanely popular show. It was a tough and gritty cop show and I do mean gritty- his police station looked absolutely filthy and his assistant, Stavros, was an utter slob. Hard to believe, but this guy was Telly Savalas’ brother.

I have many early memories of myself, as a young Mr. Blog, going to sleep while the Kojak theme played from the living room tv at the other end of the apartment.

But not only was Kojak a number one cop drama, it was also a Saturday morning hit with the kids, #1 in the ages 8 to 18 demographic.

Wait? It wasn’t? Are you sure?  Then how do you explain this?

Removable costume? Would you ever want to take off that pinstripe gangster suit monstrosity? Not me.

This toy comes with a gun, lollipops, and a cigar. In 2012 none of those would make the cut. When is the last time you saw a child’s toy that promoted smoking? And while we are at it, when was the last time you saw a toy from an adult cop show directed at kids? Did Hill Street Blues have a toy line? Law and Order SVU? And did Toy “R” Us carry a line of Homicide: Life on the Street playsets?

And speaking of playsets, Kojak had one too, though I could only track down the ads, not the actual toy.

Not only do I want that set, I really want that other figure, which may be a crook, a narc, or judging from his pose in the first picture, some guy demanding Kojak’s lunch money.

The holiday season is coming up and I want that set. Really, is $8.88 too much to spend on your old pal Mr. Blog?

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