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Jimmy Fallon Ripped Me Off

25 Jul

July 25, 2013

The New York Daily News ripped me off.

Alley Oop ripped me off.

The New York Times ripped me off.

And now Jimmy Fallon ripped me off.

 

 

I now take you back to May 24th, 2013 and Imponderable #94, when I wrote:

Anthony Weiner thrust himself into the New York City Mayoral election yesterday.

“I’ve thought long and hard about this,” he said as he stood proud and erect in front of his audience. “I feel that over the last few years I’ve shown you what I’m made of, and I’ve exposed myself to the will of the public.”

Weiner’s announcement came at the climax of what was otherwise a flaccid news day.

“I will not go limp at the finish, nor will I allow my poll numbers to slip. I will go deep in the race and I will finish first. And I will leave the electorate satisfied.” Candidate Weiner then basked in the afterglow of his ejaculation.

 

Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride: TRENDSETTER!

(And OK, the joke was really obvious, so my question to Mr. Fallon is, what took you so long?

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Allan Keyes Knows Art When He Sees It

22 Jul

July 22, 2013
keyes

I’m getting a bit of a boner just looking at these:

There’s some site called “Buzzfeed” that I’ve never heard of before, but will add to my favorites list now. They’ve done something awesome that deserves to be swiped for cheap content highlighted for the amazing treat that it is.  Ever wonder what it would look like if Thomas Jefferson was cracking out a gorilla? Or if Reagan was riding around in a warrior velociraptor?

Well, if you ever did sparky, you’ve hit the jackpot! http://www.buzzfeed.com/moerder/the-17-most-epic-pieces-of-presidential-fan-art-ever   Thanks Buzzfeed!

I’ll show just two of these epic awe-inspiring pieces. First, Nixon vs a Sabertooth Tiger:                    ak1

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!  The Sabertooth Tiger went extinct because he was put on Nixon’s enemies list. Or so the story goes anyway.

And this is just a joy:

ak2

 

No further words are required are they? I mean I had a fever dream like this once after I ate three onion-lovers pizzas and a gallon of Clamato juice.

This is great, but it’s missing quit probably the greatest President of all time (or any other time as well) and THIS Pres. doesn’t need any accoutrements to beef him up:  President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

ak3

 Now see – this is a REAL man. I mean, look at him in action, busting a cap from his gat (I assume this means shooting his gun, I’m a very square guy) at the State of the Union address: ak4

I’ll take this guy over bullshit Jamie Foxx from “White House Down” – both Obama and Foxx are skinny wusses that an asthmatic fat guy could crack out. I mean, look:

 ak5

You know in your heart you could take him!

 

 

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