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The Man Called Moron.

23 Mar

March 23, 2011

Check this out:

When you name a kid Joe Moron you are setting him up for failure. Would you make an appointment to have Doctor Moron remove your cataracts? Would you take spiritual advice from Reverend Moron? Would you vote for Senator Moron? OK, scratch that last one. Millions of Americans do. But my point is what do you expect when someone’s name is Moron? I would expect him to change it as soon as he turned 18 but I guess that is too much to expect from a Moron.

And here’s another moron (or two or three.)

By now it isn’t worth railing about how inept the TSA is. It is like complaining that the sky is blue or that Charlie Sheen is brain damaged. We know all of these things. It is much more interesting when TSA finds a sharp belt or a staple remover because then they call a news conference, hold up the terrorist nose hair clipper and say “look mommy, TSA done good!” Then we smile an understanding smile, pat it on the head, and give TSA a juice box and a nap.

But is anyone else concerned that a woman is hiding sharp knives in her granddaughter’s baby carriage? Does this not strike anyone else as extremely stupid? I suppose the baby also plays with a barbed wire teddy bear at home. This moron has a great future in homeland security.

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The Saturday Comics: Henry

19 Mar

March 19, 2011

Newspapers are dying and I blame comic strips like this:

Put yourself in the position of anyone age 8 to 28 reading that strip. An average person’s thought process may go something like this:

1- Why is that kid wearing a sailboat on his head?
2- What the heck does “have your hat blocked” mean? Is it calling him a blockhead?
3- Why does he end up with a paper bag on his head?

Look in the second panel. You can clearly see the 2011 copywrite. And even if it is a classic strip, that wouldn’t matter since it was just reprinted this week. If even the comics page can’t keep up with the times, what hope is there for the rest of the paper? You can make the argument that the average age of the newspaper reader has gone up as youth has abandoned it. That would explain old fossils like Henry and Rex Morgan hanging around, and even Spider-Man is written by an 88 year-old Stan Lee.

I am not sure if newspapers are dying so much as they are committing suicide. They should replace Rex Morgan M.D. with Dr. Kevorkian.

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