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Shatner!

13 Nov

from January 31, 2008

I added William Shatner as a MySpace buddy. I am friends with Captain Fucking Kirk! Shit yes I cursed! Fuck it dude, this is Fucking Kirk! And yes I am capitalizing that F. Fuck yes!

The guy is, let’s say, not a thespian. (Nor a lesbian, for that matter.) Frankly, he acts like he is a graduate of the Adam West school of acting. Coincidentally, Adam West is a graduate of the William Shatner School of Acting. (“Who. Is. This. Nefarious. Evildoer?”) Go figure.

But here’s the catch- he sends out, no joke, 3 or 4 bulletins a day. Here’s a sample:

Behind the Scenes at my Details Magazine Shoot
Resend: Behind the Scenes at My Details Magazine Photoshoot
Meet my official Stand In Phil
Meet David who plays my new Priceline Sidekick “No Fee”
Meet My Horse Kelvin
My Early Birthday Celebration! Peak Oil Party! FREE! (Sorry, that was Michelle.)
More Behind the Scenes of My Priceline Shoot with No Fee!

But it is William Fucking Shatner, man! The guy who saw a man on the wing! “There’s a man on the wing!” The guy who got stuck in the Twilight Zone waiting for the fortune teller to let him leave “Can we leave tomorrow?” This is The Captain of The Fucking Star Trek who laid every green-tited bitch in the Antares Nebula! (Whoa, got carried away. But it’s Shatner!)

So I am going to read every damn one of his stupid bulletins.

William Fucking Shatner!

Meanwhile, more about ME- My Entertainment.

Recently MySpace screwed up and erased my blog views from 705 to 0. Not that I cared as long as the blogs were OK. To your dismay, I’m sure, they are fine. Sorry, those pearls of wisdom are still there. But I didn’t really care, even though my six readers (counting the possibly fictional Mr. Know-It-All and Jennifer, who may or may not be disgusted by me) actually checked out the blog over 700 times. But here’s the thing- they “fixed it,” I think, and now I have 1787 views. I had 16 views since the account got wiped, so I should have 721, total. Somehow, I was given 1068 extra views.

Unless someone out there wants to admit to viewing my blog over 1000 times today. Marc, I just realized that I don’t know what you do all day. Was it you? WAS IT?  Or was it Kathy? She does nothing at work all day but order t-shirts and bitch about Mazzella. WAS IT YOU?

But maybe, just maybe, could it be, WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER?

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Heath Ledger

13 Nov

from January 23, 2008

Everybody is talking about Heath Ledger.

Remember when Heath Ledger brought food and medicine to Katrina victims?
Remember when Heath Ledger helped end poverty?
Remember when Heath Ledger found the cure for cancer?

Neither do I.

Heath Ledger died yesterday.

A tragedy for his young daughter and the rest of his family, to be sure.

A loss to the film world? Debatable, but he had fans.
Best known as one of the cowboys in Brokeback Mountain, Ledger was poised for breakout success in this summer’s The Dark Knight, the latest Batman film, where he played the Joker.

Yes, he was an actor.
And an actor with a short body of work at that.

To be true, there seemed to be no one with a bad word about him.

By all accounts he was a nice guy and a good father.
And it is always a loss when a good man dies.

But he was an actor.

Brad Renfro died last week too.

Newscasts broke into daytime talk shows with special reports.
Newspapers had special wrap-around sections.
Camera crews staked out the building where he died.
Flowers and candles seemed to grow out of the air around his building’s front entrance.
He’s bigger news now than when he was alive.

Everyone is wondering if it was drugs.
Everyone knows how he was found naked by his masseuse.
Everyone has a theory.

How terrible it is to die young.
How terrible it is to be famous.
How terrible it is to be in the spotlight.

Heath Ledger was not a construction worker.
He was not a firefighter or a policeman.
He was not a teacher or a doctor.
He did not die in Iraq.
He did not save a life.
He did not cure the ill.
He did not maketh the crippled to walk nor the dead to rise.

He was an actor.

He played parts in movies.
He was a cowboy in a cowboy movie.
He was a patriot in a patriot movie.
He was a knight in a knight movie..

Sad that only now does he find his biggest audience.
Sadder still that we devote so much time to his life and so little to things that really matter.

Can you name five Presidential candidates?
Can you name five of your children’s teachers?
When did you reach out to someone in need?

Heath Ledger died yesterday.

Naked and alone and surrounded by drugs.

He left behind a young daughter.

His parents outlived him.

He was an actor.

Life goes on.

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