Archive | movies RSS feed for this section

Scrappers Week Three: Spike TV Hits a New High in Low

18 Aug

August 18, 2010

Every show has a moment, an iconic scene or image that stays with you long after the show is over.

M*A*S*H: Hawkeye salutes Radar (“Good-Bye Radar”)
Seinfeld: “The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” (“The Marine Biologist”)
Dallas: Bobby Ewing in the shower (1986 cliffhanger)
Scrappers: Sal the Barber takes a dump in a garbage bag.

This week on Scrappers, Sal the Barber was ripping apart a demolished house, when nature struck. So what did Spike TV do?

Did they:
A- discreetly pan away?
B- cut to another scene?
C- document step by step how Sal used an old garbage bag and a broken toilet?
D- not only C, but also film his partner, in disgust, trying to figure out what Sal ate, as it was very stinky?
E- C and D, and also film Sal sitting on the toilet, grunting?

You know it was E. Nothing is too low for Scrappers.

Keeping the trend going, Noots was shown exiting the van with, for some reason, his pants around his knees. Thank God for blurring, but I wonder if they really did get rid of all the porn last week.

Of course, it could have been worse. Remember what happened to Sterling Hayden when Al Pacino got out of the bathroom in The Godfather?

“Tell Noots this is just business.”

Also this week, the show featured John’s Deli, a local institution owned not by a guy named John, but Robert. Let’s just say it wasn’t shown in the best light and leave it at that. I won’t be stopping in for their roast beef special anytime soon.

I look forward to next week, when, with any luck, I’ll watch a DVD instead of Scrappers.

(I wonder how this show would play in India? No Toilet No Bride)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mel Gibson vs. The Spacemen part 2: Maybe He’s Not Nuts?

27 Jul

July 27, 2010

Well folks, someone is nuts here, and maybe it isn’t Mel Gibson. A few days ago, you’ll recall Oh Faithful Reader, that I posted a blog in which I may have implied that Mel Gibson was being targeted by aliens who keep attacking his lawn.  Fiction? Perhaps not.

From The Metro, http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/835482-man-hit-by-six-meteorites-is-being-targeted-by-aliens

Tom Phillips – 19th July, 2010
Man hit by six meteorites is being ‘targeted by aliens’

A Bosnian man who claims he is being targeted by extraterrestrials after a series of meteorite strikes on his house has now been hit by a sixth space rock in the space of a few years.

The Meteorite Man. What did he do to piss off the aliens?

Radivoje Lajic first came to international attention in 2008, shortly after the fifth meteorite had crashed into the roof of his house in the northern village of Gornji Lajici.

And now, within the past month, another rock has hit the roof of his house, in defiance of all the odds – making it six strikes since the plague of meteorites began in 2007.

Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed that all the falling rocks he has handed over were meteorites. They are now trying to work out what exactly it is about his house that particularly attracts them. The strikes always happen when it is raining heavily, he says, never when there are clear skies.

Lajic has his own explanation, of course. After the fifth rock struck his house, he said: ‘I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don’t know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense. The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit six times has to be deliberate.’

50-year-old Lajic has had a steel girder reinforced roof put on the house to protect it from the alien bombardment – which he funded by selling one of the meteorites to a university in the Netherlands.

‘I have no doubt I am being targeted by aliens,’ he adds. ‘They are playing games with me. I don’t know why they are doing this. When it rains I can’t sleep for worrying about another strike.’

While this man is no Mel Gibson, may I remind you that Mel Gibson is no Radivoje Lajic. And if Average Joe Bosnian can be the target of extra-terrestrial attacks, is it so hard to believe that Average Lunatic Racist Mel Gibson could be under attack? We all remember his last film, The Passion of the Xergib, in which he portrayed all Hys’tr’A-Yans as evil Xergib killers. Is it too hard to believe they are leaving protest crop circles on his lawn? Perhaps not.

Just to be safe, I burned my copy of What Women Want. That film sucked anyway.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →