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Mr. Blog’s Tepid Search Engine 2011 (Classic Statistical Repost)

26 Sep

September 26, 2012

Last year I ran my probing eye over the analytics and statisitcs that make up the inner workings of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride and did an in-depth analysis of the inner workings of the blog. OK, what I really did was look at some search engine terms. Why am I reposting it? Because I’ve done it again. Coming tomorrow: Mr. Blog’s Tepid Search Engine 2012.

January 3, 2011

Why do I always rag on Wikipedia? Read this.


When Jeopardy! questions were fed into search engines, Google got the correct answer 69% of the time, Ask.com 68%, and Bing 63%

The average person came up with the correct answer 60% of the time, which is  a decent argument against technology and for the wisdom of the masses.

So how did Wikipedia stack up?
It was correct 23% of the time.

Take that, high school term paper writers.

However, search engines are good for something. They are good for finding my blog. Here are the top terms that led people to Mr. Blog.

fred flintstone 14,898 clicks
charo 5,141
chumlee 2,591
richard simmons 2,367
erin andrews 2,229
kate gosselin 1,323
queen elizabeth ii 1,007

Fred Flintstone is more popular than Kate Gosselin, thank God. On the other hand he seems to be more popular than Queen Elizabeth. Of course, if this were Google UK the results might be different. The Erin Andrews number doesn’t surprise me, I have a Hell of a good picture of her in one of my old blogs. But Richard Simmons? Who is searching for him? Maybe it is someone who likes his shorts. At number two and three, Charo and Chumlee make a nice couple. Someone should hook them up.

Fred Flintstone is far and away the most popular term leading people to Mr. Blog. In fact, if I were add up all the various searches related to Fred, the total shoots up to a lofty 22,390 clicks. For example, “Fred Flintstones” brought 597 people, “fred çakmaktaş'” which is Turkish (!) brought 536, and “Flintstones Fred” another 111. I even got 35 views from “fred flinstone immagini” and 7 views from “Fred the Fintstone.” Sadly, not one search for Rock Roll or the Twitch came my way. (For the record, click here for the most popular Flintstones picture on the site.)

Other popular interesting search terms were Marcia Strassman, Geri Jewell, and Whitman Mayo. If these people were ever in the same show the internet would blow up.

Hundreds of people came to me asking “who is Odie on American Chopper?”

I got views from “butt crack,” “finger in butt,” and “gaytoon.” “Burt Reynolds mustache” got me 14 views, and even a person I actually once knew, Christine Fajen, got 10 peeks.

Just today I got traffic from a new search term, “seniors with wet knickers.” I have no idea why.

So thank you internet! Without you I’d be typing this on my old word processor and not bothering to print it out.

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Imponderable #62: Zimbabwe (Part Three)

23 Sep

September 23, 2012

Sneak Peek of the Week returns next week.

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Dear Dad. Things are so much fun here in Zimbabwe. Just last week a convention of prophets was called to hunt down the evil spirit who stole all the panties from the women of the village while they slept. They were eventually all found in a heap down the road. You’ll never believe what happened next! A huge owl swooped out of the sky and flew off with a dog in its talons! Yeah, I know, who’d have thought? Anyway, they had to call off the with hunt for a while. I gotta tell you Dad, the chief really didn’t seem too put out. He had this odd smile when he told us he’d have to keep the remaining pairs of panties himself for, get this- “safe keeping.” But they finally got to the bottom of the case, and would you believe…

D’oh! (slaps head with palm of hand) A goblin! I should have known it was a goblin! It was soooo obvious and all the clues were there. Max Simms in my office just won $50. He had “goblin” in our office pool. I had Chief Njelele pegged as the culprit. Sue in accounting had “drunken monkey” and Bob in payroll had his money on “perverted lion.” But goblin? I should have known!

And not just any goblin, a rogue goblin.

A sexually perverted rogue goblin.

“The goblin did not perform to my expectations.”
“We were no longer on good terms with the goblin.”

If I learned anything from Lord of the Rings, it is to never trust a goblin.

So this long, creepy saga is over. I find it only fair to let Chief Njelele have the final word. “People in my area need to behave and desist from engaging in witchcraft. Because of this strange missing panties saga, my area is now known the world over for the wrong reasons, which is a shame.”

Indeed.

Why did the goblin go rogue?
The question is Imponderable.

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