Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride

May 16, 2011

I usually start with the bikes but I want to begin with the lawsuit first because I am not sure that most people tune in for the bikes anymore.

You may recall that last week Paul Senior decided that since the judge ruled that Paulie was under no legal obligation to sell his share of OCC, it would be a good time to reconcile and, not too coincidentally, make an offer to buy back the stock. Subtle he is not. Nor too swift.

Sr. made Paulie an offer, Paulie counter-offered, and neither offer was accepted. Simple? No, because lawyers are involved. Paulie says that Senior’s side made the offer and then took it off the table the next day. What these two need to do is get rid of the lawyers, sit down together and hammer out a deal, then let the lawyers vet it and OK it. The problem (or one of the problems) is that Senior has mixed up in his head the resolution of the lawsuit with reconciliation with his sons and they are totally separate issues. It doesn’t help that his lawyer is also giving him advice on how to get back together with Paulie. One thing we’ve seen over the past two weeks is that lawyers can spin anything any way they want. You got your tax refund? Too bad. Firemen rescue your grandmother from an inferno? That’s a shame. Judge ruled in favor of Paulie? “Neither side won or lost.”

The truth is these two can’t be in the same room. During the filming of the current American Chopper commercial- the one where they are facing each other on bikes- they were never in the same room at the same time. Paulie filmed his part, and then Sr. came in and filmed his. Sr. thought that Paulie was avoiding him, which may be true, but he is also avoiding Paulie.

Sr. got a chance to see the Anti-Venom bike up close. He said it was nice but that it was like what OCC was making ten years ago, which may be true, but he said that it had no technology and pointed to one of the Trams Am bikes and said that PJD couldn’t make anything like it.

Technology? Really? Senior added a Trans Am tachometer to his bike. A nice touch, sure, but hardly cutting edge. And considering that the average OCC bike doesn’t have tail lights he really shouldn’t talk. Interestingly, he opened the door to a competition, which is what the promos have alluded to all season.

Gus died this week which is odd since last season when Gus had a leg amputated the news broke on the show that he died. So I guess that reports of his death were premature.

When discussing it, Sr. broke down on camera and had tears streaming down his face. It was the most human he has seemed since the show began. He said that he loved Gus because “he was always there.” That is interesting since he has talked about how he was not always there in his son’s lives and also how he pushed his sons away so they were not always there.

Gus’ death moved both Paulie and Vinnie and in the show’s emotional climax, Paulie called Sr. He didn’t text or send an email, which meant something to Sr., and told Sr. how sorry he was, offered some comfort, and ended with “I love you.” Senior seemed touched and cried again, but how much his tears were really for Gus I can’t say.

OCC made three bikes based on a trio of classic Trans Am autos and next to the cars they looked great. The build went smoothly with the exception of Senior and Phil dropping a bike off the jack. Luckily there was no damage, either to the bike or Senior’s head, which was not far from the falling heavy cycle.

PJD was still working on the pair of CrankyApe bikes and we got a few words of bike-building wisdom from Paulie: “You can’t have a bike if you don’t have a motor.” Paulie was in a deadline crunch because they are unveiling the bike in Daytona Beach and Paulie has no one to blame but himself. He miscalculated and ordered the motor too late. Luckily it came in time.

Nub did his usual great job on the paint, a mix of matte and gloss that he had never done for either OCC or PJD. As usual, he seemed a little bemused by Paulie. He realizes that though Paulie is a good designer he runs the shop a little too casually and was always “freaking out.” He did point out though that the stress didn’t carry over to the others. “Unlike OCC there is no stress here, no drama. It is a better vibe.” The bike also featured barbed wire wheel spokes that looked really nice.

Of course, it is hard to avoid stress when Mikey is running around in a gorilla suit. Yes, you read that right. Mikey showed up in a gorilla suit led by his legally blind assistant. With Mikey unable to see well in the mask it was literally a case of the blind leading the blind. Paulie ordered him to stay far away and keep his banana-throwing from the freshly painted tins.

The other bike was the one they bought on auction and rebuilt. It had everything new except the frame and motor. True, those are the most important parts of the bike, but what kind of ad is it for CrankyApe when the bike was totally rebuilt? Buy one of their bikes and spend a lot of money to fix it up? It is especially odd since they were very impressed with the bike as it was bought.

At any rate, they were still working on the bike when the trailer arrived and it wouldn’t start. They had to have a new starter delivered to Florida and fixed it there right before the unveil. It went fine, despite the handicap of Mikey in his gorilla suit emceeing.

Next week the OCC crew travels to Alaska to ruin another show, Deadliest Catch, and to get inspiration as they make a Deadliest Catch bike. Will Senior get into it with Sig? Will the Hillstrands shove Jason Pohl in a pot and sink him to the bottom of the Bering? Tune in and find out.

Tags: American Chopper, bmj2k, CrankyApe, Mikey, Mr. Blog, Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride, Mr. BTR, OCC, Offer Denied, Pauilie, Paul Jr, Paul Sr, PJD, Senior vs. Junior, Sr. vs. Jr., Teutul, Trans Am Depot, Vinnie