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Hold Me Closer, Tiny Weightlifter

15 Jun

June 15, 2011

Last week I blogged about That’s Incredible, the show where average everyday people who were struck by lightning got their fifteen minutes of fame, minus commercials. It prompted JRD Skinner to remember a tiny girl with amazing muscle mass, which in turn prompted me to go back to an old blog from the MySpace era and cannibalize it for parts.

Let me be clear- I am not mocking this man for his size, and I am not mocking him for weightlifting. I am mocking him for his lack of dignity and bleached-blonde hair. I get that clothes in his size have to be bought in the kid’s section, but he could have picked something better than shorts with a cartoon on the crotch. And he didn’t have to pose in the arms of the bigger man like an action figure.

Here he is, the man at least one newspaper has dubbed Shortzenegger:

You can read more about the (literally) pocket Hercules here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-513820/Mini-muscleman-Meet-worlds-smallest-bodybuilder.html

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“Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.” Kinda stupid too.

27 May

May 27, 2011

“Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.”- Batman

“It was murder, Sam!”- Quincy M.D.

Tonight we are not dealing with arch-criminals. No Happy Face Killers, no Nazis hiding out in Argentina, not even a Shropshire Slasher. Tonight we deal with some lesser lights of the murder fraternity. Oh, they are no less dangerous, just a whole lot dumber.

You may be wondering about this man’s lawyer. (I am wondering about what lawyer takes a case like this to begin with, but I guess that is why America holds attorneys in such high regard.)

The prosecutors, Vince Paciera and Jackie Maloney, argued he faked his illnesses.

Doyle testified against the advice of his attorneys and said he had no remorse for what he did to Lee. He said he had no sympathy for her or her family. And he lashed out at the jury.

“I hate every last one of you, especially him right there,” he said pointing to a man on the panel. “I wish I could cut his head off.”

At another point in his testimony, he said, “If I had an AK-47 (assault rifle), I’d kill every last one of you.”

The jury of three men and nine women deliberated just under two hours.

What took them so long?

This guy is so high tech he even tracked his ex-girlfriend with a hidden GPS device. He harassed her via email and as you might expect, he met her on an online dating site.

(Please do not confuse this man with the Russian composer of the same name.)

A bit of ‘net searching came across this:

Online dating is an increasingly popular way to meet people, and many Americans even end up finding true love and getting married to someone that they met online. Still, any online activity carries a little risk due to the anonymous nature of web interactions. Therefore, it is important to know what to expect during your foray into the Internet’s various dating sites and personals forums.

1.40 million Americans say that they use at least one online dating service.
2.10 percent of all accounts on free online dating sites are spammers, ‘bots, or scam artists.
3.Profiles with photos get over twice as many responses.
4.Online dating is an increasingly popular way to meet your future spouse.
5.Canadians are more active in online dating communities than any other nationality. (I swear that is only a coincidence and I am in no way attacking Canada. Though if I did I could probably take them 2 out of 3.)
6.People over 45 are increasingly turning to the internet to find a partner.

“A little risk?” Nowhere on that list does it say that you may end up murdered.

And that leads us to

He used PayPal? Really? And how about the website owner? Is there no honor among thieves?

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