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Picture Postcard: Turtle Jailbreak

30 Jan

January 30, 2013

Saarah and I were in Petco last week looking to buy a filter for her turtle tank. What is a turtle tank? It is EXACTLY the same as a fish tank except that A- it contains a turtle instead of fish and B- it stinks to high heaven because it turns out that her turtle may be the smelliest reptile on Earth. But while the tanks may be the same, the filters are not. Turtle tanks require stronger, bigger filters.

Just as an aside, the Petco by us had only one turtle filter left, and the box it was in appeared to have been sat on by an elephant. The filter inside seemed ok who knows? Long story short, Saarah got a 10% discount.

While she was shopping I was looking at all the animals. I am easily distracted and spent a lot longer than you would expect looking at the birds. Eventually I got over to the turtles and, not having my cell phone or a camera, asked Saarah to snap this picture:

turtle jailbreak

I’ve cropped it for you at the end of this post.

While it was around 15 degress outside, inside the store it was comfortable but it must have been cold for the animals because I saw many of the reptiles huddled together. These turtles had fromed a pyramid and the one on top kept stretching up to get to the top of the tank, looking for all the world like he was trying to escape. Where did he plan to go? I have no idea, but the next aisle over had hamsters and guinea pigs so those furry critters might be just the fur coats these turtles were looking for.

turtle jailbreakCROP

A Bagful of Lies

29 Jan

January 29, 2013

I love croutons. A good bunch of croutons can really make a great salad. Cheddar and bacon, garlic and butter, you name it, I really love those toasted squares of stale bread and my salad isn’t a salad without them. But this particular bag of croutons just makes me angry. Who does it think it is anyway, insulting my intelligence?

croutons

New York brand croutons expects me to believe that they have the Original Texas Toast? Really? I’d think that the original Texas toast would come from, oh, … TEXAS.


Hold on to your hats, it gets worse! Turns out this bag of NEW YORK croutons is not made in New York at all!

croutons3

“New York” brand “Texas Toast” made in Ohio! Is there no truth in the world anymore? What can I trust? It was bad enough when I realized that no train stopped at my local Subway franchise, and not long ago I found out that beloved McDonald’s shill Grimace was played by the same man who dressed as the Hamburgler. Sheesh, no artistic integrity there either!

This just ruins my salad. I can’t eat croutons under false pretenses. Thanks a lot, Marzetti Company, you’ve just ruined my diet.

croutons LIE

And I think the Hamburgler is flashing gang signs in this picture. If he’s a Crip then I think McDonald’s should consider changing their advertising strategy.

McDonalds+Gooding+Hamburglar+Grimace+Jan+2013