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Imponderable #59: Honey Boo Boo

24 Aug

August 24, 2012

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

With the inspiring lyrics of Whitney Houston lingering in our ears, let’s watch a little video treat.

Wow.

Just wow. And by the way, TLC really does stand for The Learning Channel, as hard as that is to believe.

I love kids, really I do. Well, I do in theory anyway. In reality? Let’s face it, a lot of kids are annoying. This kid? This kid makes me want to-

DISCLAIMER-  THE EDITORS AND STAFF OR MR. BLOG’S TEPID RIDE DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE TOWARD CHILDREN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, DESPITE WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IMMEDIATELY BELOW THIS DISCLAIMER.

-toss her headfirst out of a zeppelin.

Want more? Let’s see how much you can stand.

I know, I know, she’s just a kid, and if that clip proves anything it is that I should be ranting about the POS mother, but man, I really really hate that kid.

What kind of mother would raise a kid like Honey Boo Boo?

The question is Imponderable.

But just between you and me, I think we know the answer.

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The Saturday Comics: Jerry Lewis

11 Aug

August 11, 2012

DC is really missing the obvious move. Their New 52 initiative has been a hit, with sales through the roof and critics generally praising their comics. But with all the revamps, all the reintroductions of characters, and all the retcons, they have somehow, in some way, missed out on reviving their most popular superhero.

Jerry Lewis.

Seriously, this Jerry Lewis:

Ok, so maybe I’m not all that serious. Back in 1952, running until 1957, DC published The Adventures of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. The title continued, without Martin, until 1971 as The Adventures of Jerry Lewis. Yes, you read that right. For nearly 20 years DC published a Jerry Lewis title. Take that, Firestorm. There is a huge list of major characters who can’t boast a run like that. And was Lewis popular? Sure, and look at who he teamed up with.

BATMAN

SUPERMAN

WONDER WOMAN

THE FLASH

And in all honesty, I have to say that I would buy those issues. DC has a nice line of classic, hardcover reprints of old comics. A small but vocal group of fans has been clamoring to get Jerry Lewis reprinted for years. And while it would probably not be a big seller, that isn’t the reason why you won’t see it at your LCS. Jerry Lewis owns the rights and he is asking for an astronomical sum of money for the reprint rights. And that’s a shame, because wouldn’t you love to see Jerry in adventures like these?

AGAIN someone rips off my Big Ape idea!

Hey, wait a second, those guys look familiar. I think I’ve seen them somewhere before… I got it!

Hey, Hope! Get your own rogue’s gallery! You don’t see Batman fighting Brainiac, do you?

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