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You’re a Wonder, Wonder Woman.

20 Dec

December 20, 2010

If It Ain’t Broke, TV, Please Don’t fix It.

Remember this theme song?

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
All the world’s waiting for you,
and the power you possess.
That promises a heck of a lot. Oh sure, she’s fighting for her rights, but if she can make a hawk a dove, and stop a war with love, then a little thing like making a liar tell the truth is nothing. Especially if she can make the Axis fold. Oh, I’ve got a feeling she’s going to win those rights.

In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.

Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.

Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under, Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.

Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fold,
Change their minds, and change the world.

Great as that song is, couldn’t they have avoided You’re a wonder, Wonder Woman? Or was that just inevitable? And doesn’t In your satin tights/Fighting for your rights send a mixed message?

Everyone remembers this show, It was a hit and has a place in TV history. Wonder why?

Yeah, who doesn’t love Lynda Carter?

In all seriousness, Wonder Woman was a good show, with action and humor. It was entertaining and fun. It was goofy like the A-Team, in that a million shots would be fired and not a single person would get hit, but if Wonder Woman threw an ice cream cone some Nazi would get blinded. However, would you have watched it if this was Wonder Woman?

Um, right. That’s Cathy Lee Crosby as “Wonder Woman.” Somebody thought this would work. She had no powers but wore a snazzy Olympic jumpsuit and, in her pilot, fought Ricardo Montalban so give her a ten point “Chrysler Cordoba soft Corinthian leather” bonus.

Enough of that. Let’s see Lynda Carter again.

Cathy Lee Crosby wasn’t the first time they tried to bring Wonder Woman to the small screen. During the Adam west Batman era they tried to do a campy batman-esque version, and actually shot a short pilot. Here is Linda (Planet of the Apes) Harrison as Wonder Woman:

 

Hmm. Let’s go back to that theme song.

Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Or was that “flirting” for her rights?

And I’m not too confident she could make the Axis fold either.
But she could probably distract a bank robber from his poker game.

Anything I can say about the five-minute pilot would be understatement. See it for yourself:

I said that Linda Harrison starred but she really only appears when the ugly duckling looks in the mirror. Oh, I mean Wonder Ugly Duckling. She may have the strength of Hercules, but she has the confidence of a caterpillar.

I don’t know if I should feel happy that the pilot wasn’t picked up or angry the pilot wasn’t picked up. Who knows what a full season of that would have been like?

But even when they got it right they got it wrong. We all remember Wonder Woman stopping bullets,

note the wimp behind the pole

but do you remember the Wonder Woman Diving Outfit?

Or Lynda Carter in the Wonder Woman Motorcycle Outfit?

Or the Wonder Woman Skateboard Suit?

Hey, even an Amazonian princess has to wear pads and a helmet.

And from only a couple of episodes, who recalls Debra Winger as Wonder Girl?

OK, so network TV had a few stumbles getting Wonder Woman on the screen, and even after they made it, there were a couple of missteps. In the end, this is a 1970’s TV classic, and Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman a real 1970’s TV role model.

And if you still have any doubts, here she is, Lynda Carter, with Mr. Blog Hall of Famer Bruce Vilanch.

 

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Groucho Marx, circa 1976-1977

16 Dec

December 16, 2010

The 1970’s were a great time to be Groucho Marx.

Unless you were Groucho Marx.

Groucho died on August 18, 1977, at the age of 86. By all accounts he was unhappy in his personal life, although his career had undergone a celebratory resurgence. By some accounts, he may have been a bit senile. It was generally understood then as well as now that he was being pushed past the point of what was physically good for his health by his much younger companion, Erin Fleming. Groucho, thrice divorced, was 86. Fleming was 35. By the 1980’s, several lawsuits brought against her by the Marx estate were settled in the estate’s favor, including a payment of nearly a half million dollars to Arthur Marx, Groucho’s son.

While Groucho’s health was on a downswing, leaving the comedian thin and gaunt, his voice nearly a whisper, his image and humor had become a cultural touchstone. Some of the biggest stars of the biggest sitcoms of the 1970’s were huge fans and it was not unusual for Groucho and Marx Brothers impressions to turn up on television. Groucho had become a cultural touchstone for a new generation who discovered him in late night movies.


From M*A*S*H, episode Yankee Doodle Doctor: 

 

Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Marcia Strassman, Wayne Rogers

From All in the Family, episode Where’s Archie? part 1:

 

Rob Reiner, Betty Garrett, Jean Stapleton

Welcome Back Kotter featured Gabe Kaplan’s Groucho impression in nearly every episode, and Robert Hegyes patterned his performance on Chico. Here are the two of them portraying the Brothers on stage for Gabe Kaplan’s Groucho stage show.

Gabe Kaplan, Robert Hegyes

While Groucho seemed to be all over television, at least in the form of his persona, the real Groucho was set to make a guest appearance on Welcome Back Kotter. Kotter, it should be noted, also starred Marcia Strassman, who was part of the Yankee Doodle Doctor M*A*S*H hijinks a few years earlier. Now just a few months before his death, Groucho had to be helped onto the Kotter set, where the audience, expecting the grease paint mustache, duck walk, and rapid-fire zingers of his younger days did not recognize him and even the cast was shocked by his appearance. Robert Hegyes, especially, was affected, wondering aloud how he could go on with the show and do his usual Chico Marx impression after seeing Groucho that way. The cameo was nixed and only a few publicity photos were taken with the cast. However, Groucho’s appearance was so disturbing that the pictures have never been released.

Groucho’s last appearance, one year previously at age 85, was a one and a half-minute sketch with George Burns (then 80 years old himself) on a 1976 Bob Hope television special. The program demonstrated with both perfect genius and utter sadness the two sides of Groucho in the 1970’s. On the one hand we see the real, frail Groucho, sitting on a chair and feeding straight lines to George Burns in a raspy whisper. On the other hand is Billy Barty, dressed as Groucho in his prime, wearing grease paint features, smoking a cigar, and chasing women. It seems that the producers felt that without Barty in the sketch as Groucho “as a young boy” no one would recognize the real Groucho Marx.

Check the sketch out here, at about the 18:20 mark, until YouTube takes it down again.

hope, burns, marx

Groucho had lived long enough to be eclipsed by his own legend. A legend which, unlike Groucho, had not aged in 40 years.

Thank you, Captain Spaulding. Goodbye, Doctor Hackenbush. Rest in Peace Rufus T. Firefly. This is how we’ll remember you:

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