Archive | January, 2010

1970’s Role Models Round Two

4 Jan

January 4, 2010

Who is the best 1970’s television role model?

In round one, overweight single mother Esther Rolle beat overweight single mother Mabel King to advance to the next round. What powered Esther to the win? Her picture was funnier.

Round Two

“THE MAN”                                                VS.                              JUAN EPSTEIN

               

CHICO AND THE MAN                                            WELCOME BACK KOTTER

Chico and The Man was the heartwarming story of a grumpy old racist who took in Freddie Prinze Jr.’s father. He was drunk most of the time, due to the fact that he kept a bottle of whiskey hidden in his hat. Many years before, The Man traveled through time in a time machine he invented in his garage.

 

However, heavy drinking had left him a shell of his former self. To survive, he became a part time mechanic, part time gigolo.

 

1970’s icon Charo often paid for his services. What was Charo famous for? I don’t know.


“Cuchi cuchi!”

Juan Epstein was a Sweat Hog. What does that mean? You don’t want to know. Welcome Back Kotter was best known for igniting the career of Marcia Strassman.

 

Ms. Strassman went on to guest star in an episode of Murder, She Wrote and later had an uncredited role in 1994’s Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. (I know it sounds like I made that up, but sadly, I did not.)

Epstein was one of the many twenty-something’s that television has tried to pass off as high school kids over the years. His teacher was this man, Gabe Kaplan, professional poker player.

 

Look at that mustache. Would you trust that man with your kids? At any rate, Juan Epstein was a good for nothing, but he always had a note from his mother. No homework? He had a note. No book report? He had a note. No alibi for the night the Sweat Hogs knocked over the liquor store? Don’t worry; he had a note from his mom.

WINNER: “THE MAN”

Why? So I have an excuse to run one more picture of Charo:

 

 Coming Soon: Round Three: Barnaby Jones Vs. Fish

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1970’s TV Role Models

1 Jan

January 1, 2010

It is the New Year, a time for reflection. I find myself thinking back on the many things I did and did not accomplish over the past twelve months. One thing sticks out, and for my own peace of mind, it is time to answer the question

Who is the best 1970’s television role model?

Round One

MABEL KING VS. ESTHER ROLLE

WHAT’S HAPPENING? Vs. GOOD TIMES

Mama was the semi-rotund mother of Dee and Raj, and by extension the mother of their friends, Dwayne and Rerun, who smelled so bad that his odor lingered in a room ten minutes after he left, hence his name. Mama worked as a housekeeper during the day and exotic dancer at night. Mama’s style of parenting was the “threaten to kill” style, and Dee would often taunt Raj with “ohhhhhh, Mama’s gonna kill you and dismember your corpse!” (Raj, by the way, is short for Rajer. Sigh.) Her husband, played by Thalmus Rasulala, had walked out on her years earlier. He was a womanizer and a gambler. He is seen here, sexing it up with Pam Grier.

On the other hand, he did manage to destroy Blacula in the film named, coincidentally, Blacula. Any man who could banish the immortal William Marshall could not have been that bad a husband.

NOTE: When searching for Mabel King, do not confuse her with professional wrestler King Mabel, though there is a slight resemblance.

Esther Rolle played Miami Florida, and her biggest challenge was her son JJ:

In some episodes JJ delivered chicken for a restaurant and he wore a chicken on his head. No stereotype there, mover along.

Miami also had an absent husband. James had died some years earlier when working on the Alaskan Pipeline. During a freak snowstorm, James drove his truck into the lair of an angry polar bear and neither made it out alive. It was a very close thing, however, as this is what the bear had to face:

His body was never recovered, and many suspect a CIA cover-up, as months later an “Admiral James” took a high level cabinet position.

It was never clear what Miami did for a living, though she sometimes left the house early in the morning and returned late at night. Eventually she remarried this man,

known on the professional golf circuit as Buffalo Woods.

In the final analysis, the contest between Mabel King and Esther Rolle comes down to intelligence, and Esther Rolle was smart enough to leave her show, at least until the producers lured her back with more money.

WINNER: ESTHER ROLLE

Coming Soon: Round Two: “The Man” Vs. Epstein

Barnaby Jones

Abe Vigoda

Crest Cavity Creeps

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