More Local Color

from August 13, 2007

Cal Begun, The Bensonhurst Poet

Area- Bensonhurst

Cal Begun, the self-proclaimed “Bensonhurst Poet,” has not been spotted by this observer, though he is easy to track. Like an animal, his spoor is found throughout the territory he has marked. His poetry is very much of the third-grade variety, and adorns the walls of grocery stores and beauty shops all around the neighborhood. Here is an example of his “poetry,” which was actually found on the official website of the Brooklyn Borough President:

 THE BENSONHURST POET

Cal Begun

WHY I LOVE BROOKLYN

B ecause all my life it’s been home to me

R eally beautiful are many of the neighborhoods that I see

O nly here you’ll find Mill Basin and Prospect Park

O Coney Island, where you’ll have fun from morn till dark

K eep in mind – the people here are all friend to know

L ook to travel easily wherever you want to go

Y ou can do no wrong if you decide to settle over here

N othing but happiness you’ll find with nothing to fear

A further example of his awful amateur acrostic art, “Postmen,” can be found hanging in the pick-up window of the Parkville Station Post Office.

How does he do it? “Oh, I just think real hard about the person or situation I’m writing about,” he says, “and try to make people happy.” Sometimes the poems take several hours or several weeks. Cal will devise a few lines one day, then a few more another day. That is, if he’s writing the poem from scratch. These days, Cal has so many poems he usually copies lines and says the same thing, but just spells it out differently.

For more information, including an interview, his actual home address, and details on how ask Cal for a personalized poem, go to this address, which is real and not a joke : http://www.ratedrookie.com/06/eat_this.HTML

The bobbing “guitar player” outside Chock Full o’ Nuts

Area- Corner of 86^th Street and Bay Parkway.

Years ago, that corner was dominated by both a Chock Full o’ Nuts Coffee shop and a strange man who played music for money on the street. Perhaps that is a misstatement. The man was a bit on the tall side, typically wearing a dirty shirt, unbuttoned at least half way, and filthy pants. He was in his late forties at least, perhaps older. He stood in front of a beat up box and “played” a guitar- without strings!- while he moaned in what sounded like a nonsense language with a foreign accent. He bobbed up and down to the non-existent music, and would nod, mid-bob, if anyone dropped money into the box. It was always assumed that the man had a mental disability, and I’m sure that some of the money dropped in the box came out of pity for his condition. However, I can state from first-hand experience that he was not disabled. I heard him carrying on a perfectly normal conversation with a friend in the bagel store across the street. It is all an act.

Mike The Cop

Area- Bensonhurst

Mike the Cop is a real former policeman who lives in my building. He is a very large man who has taken it on himself to ensure that the building and the area around it is safe. He chases unruly kids away late at night. He will go out of his way to help the elderly in my building. He will be seen late at night in front of the building. Mike knows everything that goes on in the area.