Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride

There was a new uprising in the Middle East today as the new terror leader was revealed.

Colonel Sanders moved to consolidate his power base today as his elite troops closed in on the province of al-Kentucky in the southern part of Saudi Arabia.

Before today, Colonel Sanders was the unknown financier behind the terrorists, but he revealed himself today as the mastermind of fast food politics, as his soldiers soon took down their biggest rival.

Talks between Col. Sanders and Ronald McDonald have broken down in recent weeks, and McDonald is feared lost in al-Kentucky.

President Bush was quick to appoint a new Mid-East negotiator, introduced by Secretary of State Rice at a hasty news conference today.

Mr. Met vowed to find a peaceful solution to the crisis.

Meanwhile, the Pope entertained a delegation of goodwill ambassadors, who petitioned him to get involved and used the traditional breakdance of peace to sway him.

The crisis even spilled over into the sports world, where a broom-wielding protestor disrupted the Cavaliers game.

In the United States, the terror alert level has been elevated to “Mothra” out of fear of prehistoric monsters being awakened during the dispute.

In other mid-east politics, William Shatner and his junta siezed power in Kuwait last night.

It is expected that King Shatner will soon rename the country “Shatner.”

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None of the news photos have been edited. That’s how they appeared in the papers.