Tag Archives: star trek

Mr. Blog Meets The Scrappers (part two)

7 Sep

September 6, 2010

The thing I really missed on my first blog about the Scrappers at the 18th Avenue feast was a picture. I really wanted you to see the dirty tent, to see the bikers, to see Frank Noots wasted. Unfortunately, I didn’t have my camera and I left my cell phone in the car. So I decided to go back later in the week and get some shots. That was Sunday.

I returned on Wednesday, camera in hand, and it was wrong, all wrong.

The big Scrappers booth was filled with young Italian women cooking trays and trays of sausage and peppers, calamari, steaks, and it all smelled great. Not a scrapper, not a bad t-shirt, not a Mimmo in the place.

Where were they? They were in a tiny booth, five feet wide at best, crammed between the food tent and a booth selling ganja t-shirts and necklaces. But it wasn’t the same.

I was in the Mirror Mirror universe, where Spock had a goatee and sold scrap.

This booth had lights, a sound system blasting music, Spike TV Scrappers posters, and a big video screen showing Scrappers. Instead of surly Teamsters it was full of kids, aged eight to twelve, wearing Scrappers shirts and laughing with the crowd, which swelled all around the booth. A woman was quickly selling shirts as fast as she could. The crowd was buying them like they were going out of style. Though I couldn’t see him through the crowd, I was told Dino was there high-fiving fans.

I knew that either I was being punked, or I’d turn around to see Rod Serling in an apron selling calamari.

Only one thing remained the same- Frank Noots. He was there, but  sober(!), wearing an official black shirt like you see on TV, and working the crowd.

(OK, two things were the same- the t-shirts still sucked.)

And also like last time, I didn’t get a picture, but this time it was because the booth was so crowded I couldn’t get a shot.

What happened between Sunday and Wednesday? Where did the phony scrappers go? Why were they in the other people’s tent? Did they muscle out the Italian food for the weekend? And why were there no real Scrappers there on Sunday at all?

To quote the Wise Old Owl, the world may never know.

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Spike TV’s Scrappers, Week Two

11 Aug

August 11, 2010

“Spike TV’s” Scrappers. Like that’s something to be proud of. That’s the kind of television that made Elvis shoot out his TV set.

Scrappers was on again last night so I threw my TV out the window.

At least I would have if I didn’t think one of those guys would troll by  and pick it up and sell it.

You ever see the vans they drive? I can’t believe they ever passed inspection. Remember the Star Trek episode The Trouble With Tribbles? That one, in addition to being one of the few episodes where Kirk didn’t get any alien babes, was the one where the Klingons and the Enterprise crew got into a brawl. Why? As the Klingon commander put it, “I didn’t say the Enterprise should be hauling garbage,” he said. “I said it should be hauled away as garbage!”, he clarified.  That is the scrap vans, summed up perfectly. If they want to make some money they should first junk their trucks.

But then how would they carry scrap? Who cares? That would end the show, so I’m all for it.

Anyway, as you know if you’ve seen a frame of the show, these jerky junkmen aren’t too smart. Said one (Noots? Was it it Noots? These guys are interchangeably dumb.) “I always wanted to own my own scrap yard.” Yeah, dare to dream, Bababooey. That was the dream of every kindergarten kid who got dropped on his head when he was born. Of course, this guy actually did it- he accomplished his dream! He owned a scrap yard! And he lost it. How hard could it be to run a junkyard? Fred Sanford did it. How pathetic can you be to actually lose your junkyard?  I bet it wasn’t one of those cool junkyards like on TLC’s Junkyard Wars. Those places had rocket engines hidden in the trash.

Noots probably had nothing more than a rusty ’79 Impala.

You may have missed it, because normal people who don’t blog about this stuff have better things to do, but Dino and Mimeograph put out a video to advertise their scrap business. Like the ancient heroes of myth, Dino and Mimeograph defy the Gods to stop them, and the Gods send deadly forces of nature to destroy them.  Check out this video, and watch closely!- as Drippo and Mippo survive “earthqwakes” and “sunamis.”

Am I the only one who noticed that those guys look just like former WWF wrestler The Brooklyn Brawler?

Daddy Dino? Or Pappa Mimmo?

So what happened this week on the show? It may or may not have been the same thing as last week. It is all kind of a headache inducing blur. Here is how TiVo described this week’s episodes:
 
Darren makes a mess while taking a boiler out of a building; a spat with Frankie turns into a slap fight; Sal tows his first car and smashes a Lexus.
 
A web guru puts Dino and Mimmo online; Frankie and Darren find porn; Sal’s patience is tested by a deli freezer and truck-driving lessons for Greg.
 

A slap fight? A sissy boy slap fight? “Frankie and Darren find porn.” I am sooo not going there. Just remember- if the scrap van is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.

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