Tag Archives: Reed Richards

Terrible Toys / Saturday Comics: Bag on Head Spider-Man

2 Mar

March 2, 2013

treasure chest of sat com

This one begins in Saturday Comics and ends in The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

Everyone knows that Spider-Man’s black costume, which he picked up on an alien planet, turned out to be a symbiote which tried to bond with him and control him. That creature eventually became Venom, one of Spidey’s greatest foes (and bad guy in Spider-Man 3. Hey- is this also a Late Night Movie House crossover? Yeah, why not?)

Anyway, the only thing that can get the alien off of Peter Parker are powerful sonics. Spidey goes to the Fantastic Four where Reed Richards uses a special sonic gun to free Pete and trap the alien. (Not that he stays trapped for long…) Problem is, Spidey had no clothes on under the suit, so he borrowed an old FF costume to go home in. Of course, the Fantastic For do not wear masks, so Spider-Man had to get inventive.


Which brings us to the toy. Eventually every single person in every single panel of every single comic book ever published will get its own action figure. And this is no exception.


Allan Keyes and I are on opposite sides of the fence on this one. He says that this is the one action figure he actually would go out and buy. I think it is totally ridiculous. (BTW- note the packaging. Yet another Spider-man costume variant.)

Hasbro Marvel Universe Future Foundation Spider-Man Bag Head Fantastic 4 FF Variant One Per Case 2012 (10)

I just can’t see spending money on this. It was funny in the comic as a two panel joke, but as an action figure? Really? This looks like it is headed to the Island of Misfit Toys to me… or maybe just the Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

Secret Origin Of A Super-Villain

1 Aug

August 1, 2011

Think over the top bad guys and evil geniuses exist only in comic books? Think again.

Johnathan T. Pinney first came to the public’s attention in 2008. He had been arrested for biting a police officer. Ordinarily, that wouldn’t be enough to get noticed by the nationwide press, but at his trial he had a few demands. 

There was more but that gives you the idea. I direct your attention to the third paragraph. This man has been found fit to stand trial.

He claimed he “embraces evil” and wanted to wear a cape for his trial. At the hearing, he “fingered his beard while sitting at the defense table.” Personally, I would have said he fingered his beard diabolically while sitting at the table. That’s the way to write an article.

As you might expect, things didn’t go so well for him. That was the last we heard from Mr. Pinney until this article from this past July:

This guy needs a comic book name. Too bad Doctor Doom is already taken. (BTW- Dr. Doom isn’t a doctor. He never finished his degree. Victor von Doom dropped out of college and it was all the accursed Reed Richard’s fault.)

He wants his own nation. Can this get any better?

Yes it can. 

Doctor Mayhem has thought this one through. He wants his own country. Not just any country, but one with an adequate water supply, and he has given thought to the issue of “native pest control,” by which I assume he means any native population. He is clearly an evil scientist since he refers to the “stimulation of volcanic activity” which I take to mean that he will soon develop a secret lair inside an active volcano. And he seems to know many hidden secrets since he demands access to Area 51. Can he be forging an alliance with hostile aliens, like the Skrulls? The diplomatic immunity and fifty billion dollars are just icing on the cake. And the money, I’m sure, will go a long way in financing the creation of a race of Atomic Supermen with which to rule the world.

This man is too dangerous to go free. Surely he is also too dangerous to remain in the general prison population. If he has gone public with his demands, I can only assume that he has already amassed his henchmen and goons and will soon escape the prison via an inter-dimensional tunnel, or at the very least a hot air balloon like Gene Hackman in Superman II.

I urge the authorities to take this man seriously. He needs to be imprisoned in The Phantom Zone, ASAP.

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