Tag Archives: reality TV

My Review of Long Island Medium

24 Oct

October 24, 2011

TLC has a lousy show about a psychic housewife from Long Island. I have not seen it but how could it not be lousy?

Long Island Medium stars a woman who, to put it kindly, is just what you think of when you think “Long Island housewife.” The premise is that she has a normal Long Island housewife life, goes Long Island housewife grocery shopping, works out at the Long Island housewife gym, whatever, and BAM! PSYCHIC FLASH! -the yenta somehow gets an insight into the life of some random stranger whom she has to accost on the street and annoy.

Who came up with the title “Long Island Medium”? What kind of a boring, unimaginative name is that? I can only imagine the rejected names- “Medium from Long Island” and “The Long Island Medium.”

As I said, I have not seen this show, but I have seen the commercials.

The most amazing one goes like this. She is in a gym (and she can use a few more squat thrusts if you know what I mean) and some other woman tells her to use her mystic mojo on some guy across the room. He’s a fireman and she asks him if something bad ever happened to him. The guy is a fireman. A New York City fireman. See where this is going?

The fireman breaks down and in tears says that “I was supposed to be at work on 9/11…”

Get it? She went up to a New York City fireman around the 10th anniversary of the WTC tragedy and asked him if anything bad ever happened to him? I’m no psychic but I could have predicted that answer.

And – BAM! PSYCHIC FLASH! I am getting a vision! I think that something bad has happened to you too! Tell me, oh reader, has anything bad ever happened to you? Yes? I knew it!

Yeah, get the point? Go up to anyone and ask a cold, open-ended question and see if damn, you aren’t psychic too. It helps if they already think you are a psychic and are ready to believe whatever you say.

PSYCHIC: “I am getting a strong feeling, a woman who died, she was close to you…”
RUBE: “Yes, yes, oh yes….” breaks into sobs.
PSYCHIC: “I sense it is your mother.”
RUBE’S MOTHER: “I’m sitting right here.”
PSYCHIC: “A grandmother, perhaps?”
RUBE: “OH MY GOD! My grandmother! How did you know?”
ME: “Hey tool, ask any adult about a dead relative and the odds are really good it is a parent or grandparent.”

It doesn’t take Criswell to predict that this show sucks.

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Three Views of Feminism

22 Aug

August 21, 2011

Have you heard about slutwalks? These are public demonstrations or marches where women dress in slutty outfits and proclaim themselves proud to be sluts.

It all began when a Canadian police office told a group of women that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” The women immediately took offense at the suggestion that getting attacked or raped is the victim’s fault. The blame for rape or attack falls squarely on the shoulders of the attacker.

So far so good.

But they didn’t take offense as much at the suggestion of being culpable in their own possible attack as they did at the use of the word “slut.” Co-founders Sonya Barnett and Heather Jarvis decided to use the word slut in their response. They observe that historically, “slut” has had negative connotations, and that their goal is to redeem the term.

And that is where they lose me.

“Slut” has negative connotations because it is a negative word, There is no “redeeming” it.

Yet they tried. And so you have the slutwalk. 

“We’re taking slut back”
“Proud slut”
“Slut pride.”

What is the point of identifying yourself as a slut? Why would you want to make that your public image? Do people march under the “I can’t tie my own shoes and I’m proud” banner? Should bad tippers wave “I’m a cheap fuck” placards?

The KKK and American Nazi Party proudly call themselves racists and how does it work our for them? OK, being a slut and being a racist are hardly the same, but why would a woman want to identify herself in a way that only brings up negative associations?

Get it straight. “Slut” has never been and never will be a good word. No good can come from associating women’s rights with “slut.” It overshadows and ruins the point they are trying to make.

The women’s’ point is that no matter how they dress they are not inviting rape. I agree. The fault of rape is the rapist who makes the ultimate decision to take his dick out of his pants. (Pardon my language.)

However.

There are things you can do to lessen your chances of being attacked. You do not walk in a bad neighborhood after dark. You do not go swimming when sharks are sighted off the beach. You do not flash money at an ATM.

And that was the policeman’s (poorly phrased) point. He was not blaming the victims. He was pointing out that there are some things you can do to lower your risk of attack. What’s wrong with that?

Of course, not everyone has the same view of feminism. Check this out:

 

On the one hand you have a group of women saying “We are not sex objects. Don’t treat us like sex objects.”

On the other hand you have a group of women saying “We are sex objects.”

I guess it is true. Blonds do have more fun.

Especially if you are Vienna from The Bachelor. 

Who would want to watch a show where a normal person stays home and plays video games? What kind of show is that?

 

Oh, that kind of show.

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