Tag Archives: Lionell Atwill

I Was Bored

25 Sep

September 25, 2013

Not only was I bored, I was tired. That’s a pretty lethal combination. One second you are at your desk staring at whatever nonsense is on the screen in front of you, like this blog, and the next second you are facedown on the keyboard, left eyeball stuck on the letter r, and the computer screen filling up with rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” until you wake up and realize that not only have you drooled all over your keyboard, but you may have licked it as well. So I was tired and bored and I really have no excuse for this other than I was tired and I was bored and if I don’t run this I’d be running yet another “Classic Repost,” or whatever I’m  calling it this week, and frankly that’s just a cheap way out. (Remember that when you see my next repost, probably tomorrow.) The oft-ignored and who-cares-about? motto of this blog is “Your Daily Dose of the Absurdities of the Absurd world.” So with no apologies, and with no other motivation that to keep this operation running on a daily basis, The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (Home of the Mostly OK Blog) present this, the first salvo in my opening celebration of Halloween. Enjoy it, if you can.

blogula

Sigh.

At least my mother is proud of me.

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untitled- UPDATE!

9 Nov

from November 29, 2006, based on a blog from November 28, 2006

Since I posted the last blog, I’ve done a lot of soul searching. I didn’t find one, but I did come to a conclusion. Remember the situation with a colleague, where I felt bad about something I did?

Well, wait for it…………… He’s a dick. Screw him.

Hey- as I posted a category for this blog, I saw for the first time that there is a category for “Dreams and the Supernatural.” If you read my profile, you know that I’m a paranormal investigator. (Did you read my profile? Bet you did not.) So I will soon start to post the bone-chilling details of my investigations into the Lovecraftian horrors (Literary reference alert!) that I contend with on a daily basis. However, I realize that this is a very serious situation, so to avoid any suspense that may interfere with the digestion of your dinner, (macaroni and cheese?), I will tell you beforehand that I am safe and unharmed. (OK, so that was not really suspenseful. What can I say? I’m not a mystery writer, you know.)

I had a good time today. During one of my classes, the kids were doing a vocabulary assignment when they started throwing words out of the dictionary at me. (Have you ever been hit by a word thrown out of the dictionary? Sounds like something from Roald Dahl’s The Phantom Tollbooth. Ever read that book? No? Then stop reading this drek and go out and get it. It’s a kids book but I love it. (Then again, I also love Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla, so what do I know? Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo never worked again, and deservedly so. (How do I know all of this esoteric crap? ‘Cause I am full of this nonsense. Go ahead- ask me what Lionell Atwill’s greatest film performance of the 1930’s was? (It was in 1933’s The Vampire Bat where he masterfully portrayed Dr. Otto von Niemann.) On second thought, don’t ask.) Wait- I have another parenthesis to close. Go back and check. Here it is- )

Where was I? Hmmmm……. Screw him…….. paranormal investigator………. drek…….. oh, dictionaries. (See how these things go? And if Faulkner wrote this he’d be a genius.) So they started throwing words at me (have you ever been hit by- oh no, not again.) to see if I knew the meanings. I KNEW EVERY SINGLE WORD. I am the smartest teacher in the world! How can I parlay this into money? I can’t.

In my last blog, I may have been a bit silly and said some nice things about some of my friends. Oh that wicked alcohol! I was so wasted! Well, I’m going to wrap this up with a quote by Mr. Know-It-All (how come we never see Mr. Blog and Mr. Know-It-All in the same place at the same time? Quiet you. (“Yes Mr. Peabody.”) (This Superman line was last quoted in my blog of Saturday November 4th. Go back and see!) Oop- another darn parenthesis to close- ) This is quick becoming my most disjointed blog ever. I’ll have to work on that. Making it more disjointed, I mean. Look, if I have to work to write this, then it is only fair that you should work to read this. While you get to read all of my golden drippings and reap the benefits therein (huh?) what do I get? Bloody fingers. (I’m a poor typist) And you should see how all that blood ruins my keyboards. (I’ve gone through two since I started this page. )

Authors plugged in this blog: HP Lovecraft, Roald Dahl, Faulkner, me.

Books plugged in this blog: The Phantom Tollboth

Movies plugged in this blog: Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla,

Cartoons plugged in this blog: Mr. Peabody and Sherman

Celebrity big-league bloggers plugged in this blog: Mr. Know-It-All

Bad comedians plugged in this blog: Mitchell and Petrillo

Words that may possibly be Yiddish in this blog: Drek

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that I have not yet quoted Mr. Know-It-All, as I threatened to awhile back. Sharp-eyed readers are a pain in the ass. I have no intention of quoting Mr. Know-It-All. It was just a MacGuffin (chalk up another literary reference!) to get you to read until the end. And why would I want you to read until the end? Well, because I am a writer, I believe that every word on this page is vital to your mental health. Just think what would have happened if you went to bed after only the second paragraph. How could you sleep? (“What did he mean by ‘Lovecraftian’? What would he say if he knew that I didn’t read until the end?”) I’d say “Good for you.”

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