Tag Archives: FedEx

Another Post Office Rant (2015)

22 Aug

August 22, 2015

So the post office lost my package. This should come as no surprise to anyone who:
A- has read this blog and all the posts about the lousy branch in my area
B- has ever been to a post office anywhere in the USA

I was expecting a package and tracked it online. The company sent it via FedEx (good) but FedEx only delivered it to my local post office, not to me (bad.) UPS has the same stupid service and I complained about it before. WHY would you hire an outside company to do ¾ of a job? Would a baker measure and mix all the ingredients of a cake and then send it to some other bakery to put in their oven? Would you hire Tom Hanks to star in ¾ of a movie and replace him with Adam Sandler for the last half hour? I just don’t get it.

Finding a dumb picture of Adam Sandler is ridiculously easy.

Finding a dumb picture of Adam Sandler is ridiculously easy.

So I went to my post office to complain. I brought the print out from the USPS website. It had the tracking number and whatever other information there was. And knowing that they’d ask, I wrote my name and address on the sheet. I’ve been through this before. The last time I was there the moron (sorry, no more Mr. Nice Blog) searched for 20 minutes to find my package, only to come back and ask for more information. The information turned out to be right in front of her. This time, after 20 minutes of searching, the same moron came back again for- you guessed it- more information.

You see, having the tracking number, sender, and my name and address simply wasn’t good enough. The information she wanted would surely crack this case. It was my first name. Stupid me, I only wrote my last name on the paper, thinking it would be enough. C’mon, am I seriously to believe that if she came across a box from the correct sender, with the correct tracking number, the correct address, and my correct last name, that she wouldn’t believe that was my package without my first name? As I said, this woman is a moron. And at any rate, the package wasn’t there, first name or not.

I asked for a supervisor. I got a “fill-in” supervisor who was slightly more helpful, but even the inanimate mailbox outside the post office was more helpful than the moron behind the window. (How many times can I call her a moron? Let’s see.)

The “fill-in” supervisor, who seems to be a permanent full-time fill-in since he’s been there every time I have, says they don’t have it. But they did have it at one time. They have a picture of the package as it passed through some machinery. And here’s my problem. The picture clearly shows that the label says “Carrier: Leave if addressee not home.” I have no idea why anyone would put that there. In fact, my post office almost never leaves me my packages. I get a slip and I have to pick it up at the post office. This situation with the lost package is exactly why I don’t want anything left. But my argument is that it wasn’t left by my door or even by my mailbox. We have a new mailman who has been leaving packages for my building in a wide open, unsecure lobby. So I am sure that someone just walked by and grabbed it. So everyone involved has an excuse and apparently no one is to blame, and the mailman will never admit where he left it, so I’m out $15. Not a big sum, but it’s my money and I don’t want to waste it.

The “fill-in” had only one option: file a claim on their website. You’d think you could file a claim with the post office at the post office, wouldn’t you? Oh, you silly goose, of course you can’t! Why would they make anything easy? Or logical?

Like Pierre D. Duck on Facebook!

Like Pierre D. Duck on Facebook!

Their website made me register and even though it claimed that my email was already registered, it also claimed that they could not give me my log in info because they could not verify the email address. To repeat, they could not verify the address they claimed was already registered on their site. What the F? So I registered with a different name and gave all kinds of info down to and including, I think, my shoe size. Then the tracking number I had, which I used before to track the package, suddenly wasn’t good enough, and I had to find the exact date it was shipped. After a lot of nonsense they told me that I couldn’t file a claim since I didn’t buy insurance. It was a lousy $15 order! The website never even gave me the option to buy insurance.

The post office lost my package and won’t do a thing about it.

So I went back to where I placed the order, ready to bite the bullet and buy another item, but now the discount code I used has expired and the $15 purchase now will cost me $37. Luckily I found a promo code online and brought the price down to $27. Of course, the reality is that the product is now costing me $27 plus the original $15 I lost, meaning I spent $42 instead of just $15.

USPS sucks.

Meanwhile, after I placed my new order, I heard back from the company. I had a day or so back told them the package was lost and could they do anything about it? They said “we’ll send you another right away.” No charge, no questions asked. So it’ll still cost me $42, but at least I’ll get double my order.

So what did I order to begin with?

Three customized Mr. Blog mousepads. And now I have six.

bmj2k mousepad

And it isn’t over.

I just got this notice about a different package I was expecting in the mail:

I am afraid that I must inform you the order has been returned to us by the postal system, due to being damaged in transit. This damage has resulted in the condition of your title being unacceptable to re-send.

I am starting to take this personally.



(NEW!) Going Postal 2014!

2 Jan

NEW January 2, 2014

I have the laziest mailman.

Now a few thoughts may be racing through your mind:
1- “No, I have the laziest mailman.”
2- “Isn’t ‘lazy mailman’ an oxymoron?”
3- “Get on with it, Mr. Blog.”

My household gets packages delivered a couple of time a week. (Is it drugs? Are we getting illegal drugs? C’mon, I would not admit to receiving illegal drugs through the mail in this blog. Wink wink.) We know what time the mail comes and even if we have to rush out of the apartment due to fire we stay inside and brave death by smoke inhalation because if we miss the mailman, we’ll have to the post office to pick up the package and who wants to go there? The post office is the home base of… postal workers!

Well my mailman has gotten lazy lately and instead of, you know, delivering packages and doing his job, he just leaves a slip in the mailbox and makes me go to pick it up.

That is not this story.

My brother had sent me a package for my birthday, December 11th. The estimated delivery date was December 8th. I only knew about this later. Well, the 8th came and went, no package. The 11th came and went, no package. The 20th came and went, no package, but by now my brother decided to track the package. “What,” you may ask, “did he wait nine days for?” Good question. I have no idea. Anyway, he went to Amazon, where he ordered it, and found that they shipped it via FedEx. They claimed that they tried to deliver it on the 8th but no one was home. LIE! I was home all day on the 8th and I would have gotten the package had they tried to deliver it. Which they did not. FedEx further said that they left it at my local post office, which is where the fun begins.

Good job on FedEx, by the way. Tools.

Did my post office:
1- Try to deliver the package? No.
2- Leave me a slip telling me they had the package and I should pick it up? No.
3- Put I in a big pile of boxes and forget about it? Yes. Surprised?

So the next day my brother and I trekked down to the post office to get the package.

famous american mailmen

Depending on your sensibility, please pick either the POLITE POLITICALLY CORRECT sentence or the BLUNT BUT ACCURATE sentence.

POLITE POLITICALLY CORRECT: The demographics of my neighborhood have changed over the years, so that there is a diverse array of languages spoken here.

BLUNT BUT ACCURATE: No one around here speaks English anymore.

I went to the post office and, after a not too long wait, a miracle in itself, I was at the window and explained to the woman on the other side that FedEx left a package here for me a week ago. I gave her my name and address.

She asked for my tracking number. I told her I only had the FedEx tracking number. She said “tracking number!” I told her it was a FedEx number, not from the post office. She said “tracking number!” so what the hell, I gave it to her.

She left and went to look for the box. After almost ten minutes she came back and said something to the effect of “knad weh [quj’hvuipoh guiah,” which, with some gesticulations and doodles, my brother and I correctly interpreted to mean “this is not our tracking number.”

I was very angry- no, let’s be honest, I was pissed off. She then, with the same sort of proto-English and gestures, told me to put the information into the computerized postal kiosk and get the information from there. I already knew the outcome but for the sake of owning the moral high ground I did so and of course, it did not recognize the tracking number.

I went back to the window and explained it all to her again, emphasizing that it WAS NOT A POST OFFICE TRACKING NUMBER. She then, and I swear this is true, took out a ruler and used it to write the numbers in a nice straight line. Next, using the ruler, she grouped them in sets of four. Lastly, counting with, yes, the ruler, she came to the conclusion that there were, and I’ll translate it for you, “not enough numbers.” This tracking number had 16 numbers while the USPS tracking numbers use 18.

You know why there were not enough numbers? BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A POST OFFICE TRACKING NUMBER.

But, being a brave little brain cell, she went back to look for the package again and, believe it or not, almost another ten minutes later, she found it and hold on to your hat, it was in a stack directly in my line of sight. I was looking at it the whole time.

But wait! There’s more!

When FedEx passed it off to the post office, the post office added their own tracking number. They created that number by taking the 16 FedEx numbers and adding 2 more to the end.

In other words, the postal worker had:
My name
My address
The first 16 out of 18 tracking numbers

So why was it so hard to find the box?????? Did she see it but, with only a 99.9% match of information, decide it was not the right package? What is so special about the last two numbers? I can only assume that that woman is a total and utter ass.

I got the package and as I left she tried to tell me that next time I had to have the right tracking numbers. I wasn’t sticking around to listen but I was pissed off so I turned back and yelled (yes, I raised my voice) “none of that explains why this was sitting here for a week and no one tried to deliver it or even let us know it was here!”

I hate the post office.

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