Tag Archives: criminals

“Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.” Kinda stupid too.

27 May

May 27, 2011

“Criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot.”- Batman

“It was murder, Sam!”- Quincy M.D.

Tonight we are not dealing with arch-criminals. No Happy Face Killers, no Nazis hiding out in Argentina, not even a Shropshire Slasher. Tonight we deal with some lesser lights of the murder fraternity. Oh, they are no less dangerous, just a whole lot dumber.

You may be wondering about this man’s lawyer. (I am wondering about what lawyer takes a case like this to begin with, but I guess that is why America holds attorneys in such high regard.)

The prosecutors, Vince Paciera and Jackie Maloney, argued he faked his illnesses.

Doyle testified against the advice of his attorneys and said he had no remorse for what he did to Lee. He said he had no sympathy for her or her family. And he lashed out at the jury.

“I hate every last one of you, especially him right there,” he said pointing to a man on the panel. “I wish I could cut his head off.”

At another point in his testimony, he said, “If I had an AK-47 (assault rifle), I’d kill every last one of you.”

The jury of three men and nine women deliberated just under two hours.

What took them so long?

This guy is so high tech he even tracked his ex-girlfriend with a hidden GPS device. He harassed her via email and as you might expect, he met her on an online dating site.

(Please do not confuse this man with the Russian composer of the same name.)

A bit of ‘net searching came across this:

Online dating is an increasingly popular way to meet people, and many Americans even end up finding true love and getting married to someone that they met online. Still, any online activity carries a little risk due to the anonymous nature of web interactions. Therefore, it is important to know what to expect during your foray into the Internet’s various dating sites and personals forums.

1.40 million Americans say that they use at least one online dating service.
2.10 percent of all accounts on free online dating sites are spammers, ‘bots, or scam artists.
3.Profiles with photos get over twice as many responses.
4.Online dating is an increasingly popular way to meet your future spouse.
5.Canadians are more active in online dating communities than any other nationality. (I swear that is only a coincidence and I am in no way attacking Canada. Though if I did I could probably take them 2 out of 3.)
6.People over 45 are increasingly turning to the internet to find a partner.

“A little risk?” Nowhere on that list does it say that you may end up murdered.

And that leads us to

He used PayPal? Really? And how about the website owner? Is there no honor among thieves?

The Man Called Moron.

23 Mar

March 23, 2011

Check this out:

When you name a kid Joe Moron you are setting him up for failure. Would you make an appointment to have Doctor Moron remove your cataracts? Would you take spiritual advice from Reverend Moron? Would you vote for Senator Moron? OK, scratch that last one. Millions of Americans do. But my point is what do you expect when someone’s name is Moron? I would expect him to change it as soon as he turned 18 but I guess that is too much to expect from a Moron.

And here’s another moron (or two or three.)

By now it isn’t worth railing about how inept the TSA is. It is like complaining that the sky is blue or that Charlie Sheen is brain damaged. We know all of these things. It is much more interesting when TSA finds a sharp belt or a staple remover because then they call a news conference, hold up the terrorist nose hair clipper and say “look mommy, TSA done good!” Then we smile an understanding smile, pat it on the head, and give TSA a juice box and a nap.

But is anyone else concerned that a woman is hiding sharp knives in her granddaughter’s baby carriage? Does this not strike anyone else as extremely stupid? I suppose the baby also plays with a barbed wire teddy bear at home. This moron has a great future in homeland security.