Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride

from August 13, 2007

Cal Begun, The Bensonhurst Poet

Area- Bensonhurst

Cal Begun, the self-proclaimed “Bensonhurst Poet,” has not been spotted by this observer, though he is easy to track. Like an animal, his spoor is found throughout the territory he has marked. His poetry is very much of the third-grade variety, and adorns the walls of grocery stores and beauty shops all around the neighborhood. Here is an example of his “poetry,” which was actually found on the official website of the Brooklyn Borough President:

 THE BENSONHURST POET

Cal Begun

WHY I LOVE BROOKLYN

B ecause all my life it’s been home to me

R eally beautiful are many of the neighborhoods that I see

O nly here you’ll find Mill Basin and Prospect Park

O Coney Island, where you’ll have fun from morn till dark

K eep in mind – the people here are all friend to know

L ook to travel easily wherever you want to go

Y ou can do no wrong if you decide to settle over here

N othing but happiness you’ll find with nothing to fear

A further example of his awful amateur acrostic art, “Postmen,” can be found hanging in the pick-up window of the Parkville Station Post Office.

How does he do it? “Oh, I just think real hard about the person or situation I’m writing about,” he says, “and try to make people happy.” Sometimes the poems take several hours or several weeks. Cal will devise a few lines one day, then a few more another day. That is, if he’s writing the poem from scratch. These days, Cal has so many poems he usually copies lines and says the same thing, but just spells it out differently.

For more information, including an interview, his actual home address, and details on how ask Cal for a personalized poem, go to this address, which is real and not a joke : http://www.ratedrookie.com/06/eat_this.HTML

The bobbing “guitar player” outside Chock Full o’ Nuts

Area- Corner of 86^th Street and Bay Parkway.

Years ago, that corner was dominated by both a Chock Full o’ Nuts Coffee shop and a strange man who played music for money on the street. Perhaps that is a misstatement. The man was a bit on the tall side, typically wearing a dirty shirt, unbuttoned at least half way, and filthy pants. He was in his late forties at least, perhaps older. He stood in front of a beat up box and “played” a guitar- without strings!- while he moaned in what sounded like a nonsense language with a foreign accent. He bobbed up and down to the non-existent music, and would nod, mid-bob, if anyone dropped money into the box. It was always assumed that the man had a mental disability, and I’m sure that some of the money dropped in the box came out of pity for his condition. However, I can state from first-hand experience that he was not disabled. I heard him carrying on a perfectly normal conversation with a friend in the bagel store across the street. It is all an act.

Mike The Cop

Area- Bensonhurst

Mike the Cop is a real former policeman who lives in my building. He is a very large man who has taken it on himself to ensure that the building and the area around it is safe. He chases unruly kids away late at night. He will go out of his way to help the elderly in my building. He will be seen late at night in front of the building. Mike knows everything that goes on in the area.

from August 8, 2007

Every neighborhood has its own unique character. Likewise, every neighborhood has its own unique characters. Everyone knows the people who stand out, whether for their odd personality or their strange style. These are the people known to everyone who lives there, the ones who give the neighborhood color. Like the Sasquatch of the Pacific Northwest, these characters have become almost mythic in nature, but unlike the Sasquatch, they are seen everyday by people like you and I. These are all actual people. You may have seen a few of them.

The Wheelchair Lady

Area- 86^th Street, generally between 19^th Avenue and Bay Parkway, but sighted as far away as 4^th Avenue.

The Wheelchair Lady is a woman in a wheelchair, possibly in her fifties, wearing a poncho and rain hat no matter what the weather. She has been seen in a variety of colors, but has most often worn a yellow or clear poncho. This local character has been sighted at all hours of the night, morning, or afternoon. She has been spotted sitting in stores at   3 p.m. and on street corners at 3 a.m. Usually, she can be seen propelling down 86^th Street. It is unknown, and even doubtful, if she is actually disabled. She moves by using her legs to push her chair backwards very quickly. It is also doubtful that she is homeless. Despite being constantly outside, she does not seen to carry many belongings with her, indicating that she has a home or a place to keep her things. Often, she has been seen with a bunch of flowers in the chair with her. On occasion, the flowers have appeared to be plastic, but they do appear to be different every time. She has also apparently shopped on the street, as indicated by the bags which hang from her chair from time to time.

The Gaudy Jewelry Woman

Area- 20^th Avenue, between 86^th and 84^th Streets.

This woman lives on or near 20^th Avenue towards 84^th Street. She is easy to spot. The Gaudy Jewelry Woman wears very large, bright, fake jewelry. Usually wearing yellow, but sometimes red, this woman wears a huge necklace of bright beads that range from a couple of inches in diameter to nearly six inches in diameter. She wears very bright matching earrings. Like all of her jewelry, these are clearly fake, if not plastic. The earrings are generally large, thick hoops, big enough to hide her face when seen in profile. She wears matching clips in her hair, and makeup thick enough to qualify her as a circus clown. While she is spotted doing normal things, like shopping, her bizarre appearance makes her stand out, and the bright colors scream for attention. In a bizarre footnote, she may be a fan of Anna Nichole Smith. After the death of the actress, the newspapers published pictures of her from her final movie. Anna Nichole was shown wearing bright makeup streaked and slashed across her face, as though it was applied in front of a strong fan. The makeup was, apparently, from a scene in the film in which Anna Nicole had undergone, or was undergoing, some trauma. In the days following her death, The Gaudy Jewelry Woman was seen wearing the same makeup.

The ROTNAC

Area- various, but not 18^th Avenue.

ROTNAC is the granddaddy of all local characters, the crème de la crème. Active since at least the early 1980s, ROTNAC has been seen in many corners of Brooklyn, but he seems to live in Bensonhurst. He has been spotted on the subway, the bus, the street, in restaurants, and shopping. He is around fifty years old, with a head of thick black hair, now graying, and a thick beard. He is fat and wears shabby clothes. The most remarkable thing about ROTNAC is his headgear. In the winter it is a furry hat. In the summer it is a baseball cap, but what sets them apart is the sign saying “ROTNAC” that he either attaches to or writes on his cap. This is how he is known. It is not unusual for him to walk down the street amid a chorus of “Hey Rotnac!” One theory is that ROTNAC, read right to left in the Hebrew style reads as CANTOR, so ROTNAC is a cantor. He does look and dress as though he would fit in a synagogue. He is usually sighted carrying a large, full, plastic bag which contains any number of items, including a very odd, telescoping tennis racket.

I here include, in the interest of historical accuracy, my first person account of an up close and personal encounter with the ROTNAC in November of 2003. This is excerpted from an email to Marc on the evening of the event.

Tonight at about 6:45, Sheryl and I went to have dinner at Adelman’s Deli on King’s Highway. Let me set the scene. Adelman’s is a long narrow restaurant. You walk straight past the deli counter and the dinning section begins. You are then standing at the head of three aisles of tables. The first table of the center row is directly in front of you. There was a short line, so Sheryl and I waited, about four people away from that table. Seated alone at that table, facing us, front row center, was Rotnac.

Rotnac was well known to the waiters. “How you doin’ Rotnac?” one asked as he went by. (He was doing fine.) When he asked for his check, the waiter responded with a grin and “the check is in the mail.” (They both got a laugh out of that.)  He paid his check from money he took out of an old-fashioned woman’s change purse. Although I didn’t see it, I believe the purse came out of the sort-of bird-watcher’s thing around his neck.

Sheryl and I were then seated, but of course all eyes were on Mr. Rotnac. After asking for the check, he took out a small cell phone (that surprised me) and called someone who, from what I could gather, is his girlfriend, or at least a female friend he is close to. They may even live together. It wasn’t clear. Anyway, he told her that he was worried sick about her. (She was supposed to meet him.) He was so worried that, and here I directly quote: “I was so worried that I almost had to give up my side dishes.” I love that line. He said that he would meet her at home, and he had a long walk to the train. She wanted to meet him on 18th Avenue. He then stated that he didn’t know 18th ave.  Frankly Marc, this stunned me. I have seen this man ambling all up and down Bay Parkway and 86th Street. I encountered him many times on the B train, and even, on more than one occasion, saw him stroll down my block towards 20th Ave. I thought that South Brooklyn was his oyster. I still can’t grasp that statement.

I was looking forward to his exit because it would undoubtedly be just as interesting as his entrance. However, I never saw him come out. It was possible, of course, but unlikely, that he could come out without my seeing him, let alone quietly or without comment, but  I never saw him come out, and when I went to the men’s room a half-hour later, I fully expected to see him in there, probably asleep or on the phone, but he wasn’t. I firmly believe that he went through the kitchen and out some back door. It would just fit

 If anyone has any information about ROTNAC please inform me immediately.

Joe Buswaiter

Area- Bus stop on the corner of Bay Ridge Parkway and 21^st Avenue.

Joe Buswaiter has not been active since the early to mid 1980s.

“Joe Buswaiter,” as my father dubbed him, was a shlumpy-looking man who stood, from about 8 in the morning to 4 in the afternoon, at the bus stop across the street from my house for a period of months in the 1980s. He gave every appearance of waiting for the bus, but when the bus came he would step back and give a little shake of the head. He did not seem to be looking for any particular bus, or any particular person on the bus. Also curious is where he went or what he did after 4 p.m. Usually he would just walk away toward Bay Parkway. One day he simply did not turn up at the bus stop and was never seen again. As the myth goes “maybe he finally got on the bus.”

The Defender of Bensonhurst.

Area- 20^th Avenue and 85^th Street.

The defender is a wannabe goomba who hangs out on the corner and yells at people he doesn’t like, or people he thinks don’t belong. According to local lore, he defends the neighborhood “with a cell phone in one hand and a beer in the other.”

All of these are actual people. There are more, but these are the ones that stand out. If you have any stories of these or any other local characters, please send them to the Department of Urban Lore and Local Characters, Miskatonic University, care of this blog.