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1985 A.D., What’s in Your Time Capsule?

17 Mar

March 17, 2010

BREAKING NEWS!

From the New York Post.
(Their motto: “One Part Lindsay Lohan, One Part Lady Gaga, One Part Actual News.”)

Authorities in Somerton, Ariz., are mystified by a disappearance that dates back a quarter-century, but was only just discovered. The town opened a time capsule from 1985, and found letters, pictures and lots of other artifacts. What was missing was a bottle of Mexican brandy. A town official swears he watched as the box and everything in it — including the booze — was buried in concrete 25 years ago

They opened a time capsule from the far-off era of 1985? Is it really a time capsule if the same guys who buried it are still alive dig it up? Dogs have buried bones in backyards longer than that. And what did they want to find? It isn’t like the contents are a surprise- they still remember putting the stuff in! I guess they were really eager to get their vintage “Frankie Say Relax” t-shirts back and ready for the summer. They may be back in fashion.

The dictionary defines an artifact as “An object produced or shaped by human craft, especially a tool, weapon, or ornament of archaeological or historical interest.”

Here are the artifacts they discovered from the bygone-time of 1985.

  • Autographed picture of Andrew Ridgeley
  • Inaugural Wrestlemania Program featuring Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka
  • VHS copy of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
  • six-pack of New Coke
  • TV Guide featuring Mr. Belvedere

As for the bottle of Mexican brandy, I guess we may never know what really happened to it, but after reading that story I just wish it were here right now so I could take a good stiff drink.

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Air Traffic Antics

4 Mar

March 4, 2010

In the news today, a man was arrested for bringing his two seven year old kids to work and letting them help out.

He was a bouncer at a strip club and he let the kids put on the dancer’s pasties.

NO, no, he was an air traffic controller and he let the kids give directions to the pilots over the radio.

Yes, that’s true, and the true story is actually more unbelievable than the strip club story. He let them into the air traffic control tower, let them direct the pilots, let them roam around, getting ice cream on the instruments, fiddling around with the vectors, directing Hawaiian flights into volcanoes, etc.

But seriously, this is a true story and the kids really were in the tower and really did talk to the pilots.

The controller, Glenn Duffy, and his supervisor NEED to be fired.

Never mind that the kids did little other than parrot their father’s words.
Never mind that the father was supervising them.

The point is that the NYC area is the world’s busiest air corridor, covering the biggest terrorist-threatened area in the world.

People in air traffic control do not need to be splitting their attention from the air traffic to their kids. This is a high pressure, highly important job where the people need their eyes on the sky, and our safely, and NOT on their children.

Children in that environment are a potentially dangerous distraction to those whose attention MUST be on their jobs.

Plus the kids got chocolate all over the radar display.

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